A Great Promise

"Then Moses called Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Isreal "Be strong and of good courage, for you must go with this people to the land which the Lord had sworn to them, and you shall cause them to inherit it." "And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not be dismayed." Deut.31:7-8
What an awesome promise God made to Joshua! I can only begin to imagine the anxiety that would have filled my heart were I to stand in Joshua's place. He'd served by Moses' side and knew exactly what he was getting into. He was to lead God's chosen people, but they were often a people who did not give God the glory. They were whiners and quick to forget the blessing the Father showered them with. The promise that Moses gives Joshua from God would have had to help ease some of that anxiety. There's joy in knowing that the Lord will be by our side in all things and He will not give up on us. I love that...He will not forsake (give up/leave) us.
If anyone moves... it's us. Think about that...how many times have we wondered where God has gone, why has He left us to deal with the hardships of life on our own. Well guess what...He didn't leave us, we've moved away from Him. The promise God made to Joshua, He also makes to those who follow His will. As long as we follow God, He will be right there with us. In my battle with pain, it's so very easy to allow the devil in to hear...Why does a loving God put so much pain in the lives of those who love Him. Satan loves to catch us when we're weak and then fill our hearts with his lies...the lies that place the blame for suffering at God's feet. We must remember it was sin that brought pain into this world and Satan was the instigator. How blessed we are to have a Father who created a plan for our redemption! He has given us a way out of the pain and suffering of this world and promises us an eternity of joy with no tears or pain. To receive that blessing we must do what the Isrealites were told to do:
"See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, in that I commanded you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His commandments, His statutes, and keep His judgements, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life that both you and your descendents may live: that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Issac, and Jacob,to give them." Deut. 30:15-20
As long as we walk with the Father and strive to obey His will for us then He will not forsake us, but if we do not follow His will and begin to follow the world...when we remove ourselves from the presence of God..then we recieve death and evil. It may not be immediate, but we won't enter the promise land (heaven) if we take ourselves out of God's hands and place ourselves in the hands of the world.
I have been truly blessed with an earthly father who made sure I knew God's plan for my life. He provided me with a strong, faith-filled, prayerful mother who was able to make sure that God was the center of our home even when he wasn't home. He took the time to make sure I not only had goals for the future here on earth, but that my main goal was to reach the final goal of heaven. He baptized me when I was 9, and the talk we had before his agreement is a precious memory, and I very clearly remember him baptizing my little brother on Father's Day. What a legacy he has given us! We knew growing up that above all else the Father and His kingdom are the most important parts of our lives.
God also sent me a wonderful man, whose bull-headedness has lead our family to remain active members of the Lord's body wherever we happened to be. He brought me a man whose faith is great and beautiful to behold. The joy of watching that faith grow over the last 26 years is one of God's richest gifts in my life. He is determined to make sure that as a family we reach heaven's gates. God blessed me with a husband who is a wonderful father and who sets an example for our son that I am proud of. His tender heart when sharing God's word with our son and friends is beautiful, yet even more so when he's willing to take a stand for what he believes in even when it's not popular or easy is encouraging. I love that it's his goal for us as a family and individuals to please God in what we do. I love how he holds my hand and walks me back into the presence of the Father when the pain moves me away and I listen to Satan's lies. He is training our son to be a leader in the church and I love watching the process and the part I get to play in it.
So sweet friends and family, I hope your Father's Day is a great one! I hope you make the time to go worship the Father and reflect on the promises He's made to us and the sacrifices He's made for us. May God shower you with blessings this day and every day.

God's Happy Meal

Have you ever noticed that for our children, if they're sad, hurt, or sick, or even celebrating a special occassion a "Happy Meal" seems to fit the bill. There's nothing like a hamburger, french fries, coke, and the toy of the week to fix whatever is ailing them at the time, or gives that extra boost to a celebration. A friend and I were discussing this not to long ago and she made the comment we need an adult happy meal, and I heartily agreed. She's had me thinking about this for almost two weeks...what would we put in our adult happy meal. Something special to help mend a broken heart, an ailing spirit, a body in pain or to celebrate the special moments of life.
Just like the Happy Meal for the kids, we need to have something to fill us up and quench our thirst. The Bible provides both of those needs...it is the bread of life and the living water (John 4). For me when it comes to facing pain on a consistent basis scriptures that deal with God's promises and encouragement are the most important part. This same sweet friend battles chronic pain herself and sent me the following list of verses. They have been the food in my "Happy Meal".
1. (Psalms 30:2 NKJV) O LORD my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.
2. (Psalms 6:2 NKJV) Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
3. (Psalms 107:20 NKJV) He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions.
4. (Psalms 147:3 NKJV) He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.
5. (Proverbs 3:7-8 NKJV) Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones.
6. (Jeremiah 17:14 NKJV) Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; Save me, and I shall be saved, For You are my praise.
7. (Jeremiah 33:6 NKJV) 'Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.
8. (Matthew 8:13 NKJV) Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go your way; and as you have believed, so let it be done for you." And his servant was healed that same hour.
9. (Luke 8:48 NKJV) And He said to her, "Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace."
10. (Luke 6:19 NKJV) And the whole multitude sought to touch Him, for power went out from Him and healed them all.
I know this is just a sampling of what we can find to give us encouragement. My two favorite verses are:
Matt. 11:28-30 "Come to me,all you who are weary and burdened and I will give rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
John 14:1-4 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God,trust also in Me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you might also be where I am. You know the way to the place I am going.
But what is a Happy Meal without the toy surprise? (A cheaper all American meal :)) I'm so thankful that God puts a "prize" in his "happy meal"! Sometimes that prize is an unexpected phone call from a friend just out ofthe blue, it may be a kind word spoken or a good hug, it may be someone's thought for the day on their FB status, fellowship with fellow christians, or a song that touches the heart and uplifts the spirit.
So I'm thankful for God's "Happy Meal", that takes care of the spiritual needs I have. Now there are many times I think about physically what would my Adult Happy Meal contain...would the prize in the box be a ginger ale, some benadryl, or even some bengay :) I guess I still have some thinking to do about that one,but I know how blessed I am to know that God's food is always good and the prize is always the one I need the most. May God bless you with a wonderful Lord's day tomorrow. I hope heading to worship is the prize in your Happy Meal tomorrow and the joy of fellowship that comes with it.

An Open Adoption

Yesterday was a very special day at our house;actually,every May 13th is special. It's Samuel's Gotcha Day. It's a day we celebrate as a family because we recognize that but by God's grace, this very special little man, would have never become a part of our family. I've been telling my baby his story since we first brought him home. It was harder for me to tell back then, I would get all choked up and hardly be able to speak. Love his little heart, as long as I kept the rocking chair rocking, he'd look up into my face with his big, sweet, brown eyes and coo and make all the sweet little sounds babies make as long as I kept talking. I told him about how badly we wanted a baby and how we prayed for him, of begining the adoption process, the phone call that came asking us if we'd like to meet our birthmother, pacing the waiting room in the hospital the day of his birth, getting to see him and touch his little hands after delivery, the 2 days his birthmother wanted with him all to herself,the weeping the nurses listened to the night before his birthmother would make him ours, seeing and holding him for the first time, and then the day the judge officially made him a part of our forever family.
He's had the priveldge of meeting his birthmother and he talks with her on the phone and even chats with her on-line. I look in his face when she tells him she loves him and mises him and the joy there is priceless. This year for Mother's Day, he asked to call her. We didn't get through to her on Sunday, but did get her on Monday. I wish I had my camera out when the phone rang and he knew it was her calling. He wished her a belated Happy Mother's day, and I got that big knot in the back of my throat,worked hard not to cry (he was sitting beside me and watching my face so intently), and I smiled. It's the first time he'd ever told his birthmother Happy Mother's Day. I remember just how precious it was to hear him say the first time and every time, and I could only begin to imagine how much it meant to her. I'm so thankful we chose an open adoption. My sweet boy knows that he's loved beyond measure, and I've learned that I can share that love and receive so much back in return. His birthmother is a special part of our forever family, too.I love knowing that she carries a picture of him in her wallet, and that we can share the pride and pleasure of our little man's accomplishments.
So anyway, yesterday I took my baby out to lunch and we celebrated his Gotcha Day. He'd brought along an army of Lego Clone Troopers and they ate with us as well. I've noticed that when something is close to his heart, he makes sure he has playthings with him. We talked and laughed about the Force, and he educated me on the different jobs of each trooper, and I told him the first words he ever heard me say...God loves you, Jesus loves you, and Mama and Daddy love you. These were the first words I ever heard :)They are precious to me, and he played and moved those Lego Troopers around while I talked (he was listening and it was important to him,so important that he had to keep those hands busy while he listened). We talked about his day in court, and the laughter and joy in the waiting room as we visited with both sets of grandparents, and the social workers. He'd just started cruising the furniture at home, and he toddled from one person to the next soaking up all that attention.
I'm so thankful,I have his story to tell him, and I'm thankful that I've now told it so often that I can tell it with all the joy and no tears. I'm thankful that his birthmother wanted an open adoption and that when Samuel was ready to meet her, she was willing to fulfill that need. Isn't it wonderful how God brings families together. It is truly AWESOME, whether it's done in the traditional way and family welcomes that new tiny baby into the world right from the begining, or through other means, the joy is beautiful. And many times that joy is found through the tears of sorrow and healing of broken hearts. May God bless ya'll, and may he pour out a special blessing on all those special ladies out there who make the choice to chose life for their baby and adoption when they themselves aren't ready to fill the role of mama.

Happy Mother's Day

I happen to love Mother's Day and Father's Day. It's a time to honor our own parents, and a time to celebrate the blessings that have come with the children God has placed in our life. How blessed I am! I can't ever really remember a time when I didn't want to be a mama. I toted around my baby dolls and purses filled with their stuff for as far back as I can remember. There's something extra special about sweet little chubby cheeks, elbows, and knees.
I have to say that the first time, I had the overwhelming desire to be a mama was when I was in college and my Fridays were very often spent with a very precious little guy who's grandmother and pawpaw were raising him. I'd go by his house on Friday morning, have something to keep his hands busy while I worked on assignments for school, and then our fun would begin. We'd get lunch, head to the park and play, and then head to pick up Rich from work. He probably has no idea how much joy he brought us, and love his heart, we learned a little about parenting with him. One of my most precious memories is when we were sitting in the car waiting for Rich to get off work, he turned to me and said, "Samanfer,you look like a mama to me." From that day forward,he's been the son of my heart and I happily shared a part of his love along with grandmother,one of his Aunts, and his birthmother. I don't know if he even realizes how much he's loved and how much of my heart he still holds to this day. We came into his life just after grandmother and pawpaw adopted him, and we met him at church. It filled my heart with joy,when that little guy would jump up off the pew in front us and reach his sweet little toddler arms up to be held after the final Amen. He's grown now and though life's circumstances moved us away from him right after high school graduation. I've kept up with him. I'm proud of him and the young man he has become. To this day, I have that little booger to thank for teaching me how important words of love and encouragement are to a child. We worked with some part-time foster children during that time, and one of my favorite family pictures has all my boys in it (we had 4 part-time pre-teen boys and my first little man and my sweetheart). I love that picture and I love the memories that come with it. I've been on bear hunts and tried to outrun the moon, when he was little. So I'm thankful God gave me the chance to feel a mother's love for a child long before I had one who was officially my own.
His grandmother taught me so many wonderful things. She taught me how to love my husband, how to drive a car, and when to use a switch on little legs to help him learn to obey. Like many of you tomorrow, I'll be making phone calls :) I'll call Mama, Grandmother, and very possibly I'll talk to my little man's birthmother. These three women have helped to shape my adult life in so many ways that my cup runs over and I'll drink from the saucer of love.
My little man is getting so big and I love to hear him pray and talk about his love for God. Every night he prays for the headache to go away, and his prayers are sounding like those of a big boy now. So once again, I'll drink from the saucer because my cup overflows.
So Happy Mother's Day everyone. I hope your's is filled with love and joy as you count the blessings you've received as a son/daughter and the many blessings that come with being a Mama. God bless you richly!

A Full Heart

It always surprises me just how quickly the month of May sneaks up on me. When I was teaching school full time, it meant the crazziness of finishing the school year was at hand. It also meant trying to find the perfect Mother's Day card for Mama and Mom. (LOL, As I unpack boxes you wouldn't believe just how many cards I've found that never got mailed; then again some of you know very well that I don't get things in the mail like I should. :)It's also a time when, I look back with great joy over Samuel's Gotcha Day. The fact that it followed my first Mother's Day made it all the more poignant.
I am blessed, I have to say that again, I am blessed. The pain that we've dealt with as a family with my headache since Christmas has called me to question that statement, and I'd really like to lay all the blame at the feet of the meds and how crazy they can sometimes make me feel. I have to admit that I have spent some time since Christmas contemplating if I'm really serving a purpose here or if the world would be better off without me. I am thankful to say, that my Mama and Daddy, and my Sweetheart have over the years helped me deal with these feelings. My faith in God and His promise to give us no more than we can bear came through with loud alarms,too. I will say if you want to see your doctor get moving to admit you in the hospital, share the above thoughts with him. Needless to say, he listened closer to what the pain was doing and made sure I didn't come home too early. We then spent 6 weeks trying to adjust to a med that worked great in a high IV dose in the hospital, but came home and the depression began to roll in, and this time I had a harder time dealing with it. We knew that it might cause those types of feelings temporarily so we waited. But it got to be too much for all of us as a family to deal with so we spent two weeks trying to get the doctor to call us back. I'm now off that particular med, we made a fast trip to Skokie, IL(suburb of Chicago), and tomorrow marks exactly a week since they did the injections in my neck. Today, I have finally begun to feel better. The pain that has been staying wrapped around my left eye has eased up, the injection sites aren't as sore, and I actually feel a little more like myself. So once again, I am blessed. Iam blessed with a husband, who is patient with the fact that the house is NOT clean, he does the grocery shopping, and gets my little man out of the house and into the sunshine. He works his schedule to take care of me, and love his heart, I can look at his sweet face when he gets home from work and see just how tired he is. (He did all the driving and our total miles round trip was 1700 miles) The first half he drove in one day, and the trip home was spread over 3 days, and when we got in he unloaded the car, and went to meet Mama and Daddy who'd been keeping little man for us. He's tired, and while occassionally he may growl like an old grizzly,he doesn't complain, he just keeps on going. So once again, I am blessed.
I titled this entry a full heart because my heart is full on so many levels. I look at the pictures of the destruction from the storms last week and it breaks your heart. I have friends who've lost people and my heart aches with the grief for them. My little man has been such a big helper this week and been on his best behavior (found out grandmama told him to take care of me since I'm not allowed to bend over or pick up anything for a few more days). His concern and love fill my heart as well.
My heart is also filled with joy because another of my precious red heads has obeyed the gospel, and now I can call her sister and niece. I wish our Jenny could have been here to see it. But I know she's rejoicing in heaven with us. It's funny how, the precious moments that we want to pull close and store up can fill our hearts so full and make us wish that those who have gone before us could still be here to enjoy the celebrations, but that is selfishness on my part.
My heart is also full because we are quickly approaching a day when two special friends laid to rest their sweet little one, and the memories of watching them cope, their strength through the pain, and a sweet big sissy trying to wrapp her little mind around why little brother would never grow up. My heart is full to overflowing.
I'm so thankful for God's grace and mercy. He intends for us to have full hearts. Hearts full of love for one another, hearts so full of love for the lost that we can't not mention His precious name to those we come in contact with. The Greatest commandment is this to love one another as I have loved you.
I can only imagine just how full Peter's heart was in John 21, when Jesus asked him, Peter do you love me? And Peter responded Yes, Lord. Then Jesus told him to feed His lambs. Two more times Christ asked Peter this question, and we're told it grieved Peter (can you only imagine Peter thinking about denying Christ 3 times and now he's been asked 3 times, Do you love me?) Peter's response the last time was Yes Lord you know I do, you know all things. And Christ responded. "feed My Sheep". So when our hearts become full are we carrying on the job Christ gave Peter, are we tending the lambs and feeding the sheep. Perhaps if our hearts are so full with doing God's will, then when the storms and trials come to rock our world (and we know they will),then Lord willing our faith will have such an anchor that it can't be pulled off course, even if the winds toss us around. So, I hope you can look in your life and see just how blessed you are, and I'm happy to say I see just how blessed I am.

The implanted word and prayer

Once again the time in between posts has been a long one. I'm finding that I have less time available to write during the morning hours now that I'm home schooling my little man. We are enjoying Spring Break, and that means I have more time to write :) In the last month and a half, we as a family have ridden the roller coaster of me being in the hospital for a week and then coming home with some new meds that are taking some time for me to get used to...which means the family as a whole has to get used to them. Let's just say that everyday is a rollercoaster ride and we are all ready to get off. So in the midst of all this the following verses and thoughts have been what have been getting me through. My Prayer is that they'll help you too.
Therefore lay aside all filthiness and over flow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21. I love the word implanted, it implies action on my part. Seed doesn't just get in the row in the garden and grow, a farmer must til,plant, and water. I need to spend more time planting the seed (reading my Bible spending time with God in prayer, and fellowship with those of like precious faith. Mark 14:38 says "Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. John 17:15, "I do not pray that you should take them out of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil one." We know that we should spend time in the word and in prayer...we need that two way communication. But, there are times when I have such a full,heavy heart that the words just aren't there. I'm so thankful that in Rom. 8:26-27, we are given a solution to this problem: Likewise the spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we aught,but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God." I gain so much comfort and hope from that last verse.
In the 12 1/2 years, I've been battling this headache so much of the time I've been unsure of what to ask for. Yes, I want freedom from the headache, but my family and friends have joined me in this prayer and God is silent in His answer(Let's just say, I've known for a certainty it's either been a not now or a no up to this point.) Please don't think I've given up, I haven't, but I am weary of the fight. The verse above brings me hope because when I can't put into words the feelings and needs of my heart., the Holy Spirit interprets them for me. So, I'll keep on, keepin' on. I'll spend time in my Bible and Lord willing make it enough time with the right attitude that His word becomes so firmly planted in my heart that even the worst of life's storms won't uproot it, and I'll spend time in prayer talking to the Father. I recognize that if I leave out either one of these it becomes a one sided conversation and that was not what the Father ever intended for His people. So even in the depths of both physical and emotional pain our Heavenly Father tells us, "Yes, I'm listening to you. I'm holding you in the cradle of my arm and I will see you through this (night, moment, or situation). What joy and peace we can find even admist the pain we must endure!

Green Bean Sandwiches

I met my sweetheart at Gulf Coast Bible Camp the summer I turned 14. I honestly have to say that I was one giant walking, talking hormone and a major pain at home most of the time. I was the typical know it all pre-teen. I fell head over heels in lust with my sweety when my youth group and his went roller skating together,and from that point on there was really no one else for me. We've always said God sent him my direction when he needed my family,but before I really needed to get serious. We've always learned life's lessons the hard way and we did everything our own way.
Once again, I'm rambling and not getting to the reason for today's post. I've had the privilege of reading several blogs today that discuss how to keep a marriage happy,loving, and growing; and I wanted to share some things I've learned over the last 21 years. So here goes:

*Decide every morning that you're going to love your sweetheart. This just happened to be the advice my Grandmama gave me on my wedding day and it's served me well over the years. This is that agape love the Bible talks about,not the lust side of things.
*The only time you can change a man is when he's in diapers. (Many thanks to Sue Crabtree for bringing this to my attention.) It's not my job to nag, irritate, or badger my sweetheart. If I didn't love and like who he was before I married him then I shouldn't have married. I love Proverbs 31 and the account of the Virtuous Wife she's who I long to be. If I concentrate on being the wife God wants me to be, the rest seems to eventually fall into place.
* Be thankful for Green Bean Sandwiches and Mac-n-Cheese. When money is tight and you're not real sure what will come next,put your faith in the promises God made that we don't have to worry about where our next meal will come from. Like I said earlier we did everything the hard way, including getting married and heading to Montgomery with no place to live. We were the epitome of young and stupid and believed in living on love. There have been times when it was just a little more than love and faith that we lived on. Take these opportunities to learn to depend on each other. We laugh now about our green bean sandwiches we ate for dinner the first week we were married,at the time we laughed so we wouldn't cry, now we look back and see the beginning of a marriage built on faith and love and facing the challenges of the world as a couple and not as individuals.
* Be thankful for dirty socks left by the chair and clothes that don't get hung up, someday you may wish they were there. I guess this get back to nagging, that's not your God given responsibility and it breeds frustration and disgust instead of love and respect.
* If you want to get your way,put away the claws and pour on the honey. Don't expect immediate results and be willing to grin and bear it until you see the result you're looking for. (Leonard Johnson gave me this gold nugget and it works...and yes sometimes it takes years to get what you're looking for)
* Hold hands as often as you can and sit close to each other. Even when there is no money and no babysitter, choose to hold your sweetheart's hand or snuggle up beside him on the couch.
*Notice the good qualities in your sweetheart and TELL him how much you appreciate him. When you do this he hears I LOVE YOU better than he would if you went outside and actually yelled the words for the neighborhood to hear.
*Listen to him talk about his dreams and encourage him to go for it. Even if it means that for a season you are not the center of his world.
*Look for the little things he does and appreciate them. I know as women we solve our problems by talking them to death, but our sweethearts want to fix the problem for us. So when you're just wanting to share a problem and he begins to try and help you find the solution take the time to listen to what he's really saying...I love you soo much that I don't want you to have any problems.
*Make sure you say the words I love you, don't ever assume that he'll just know. Take every opportunity to give him a good hug and tell him you appreciate the husband, father, and Christian he is.

Take the time to enjoy the green bean sandwiches of life, see them as an opportunity to grow as a couple and a family. Find the blessing that God is sending amidst the trials and financial strain. May God bless you and your marriage as you work to be the wife, mother, and Christian God plan's for you to be.