Green Bean Sandwiches

I met my sweetheart at Gulf Coast Bible Camp the summer I turned 14. I honestly have to say that I was one giant walking, talking hormone and a major pain at home most of the time. I was the typical know it all pre-teen. I fell head over heels in lust with my sweety when my youth group and his went roller skating together,and from that point on there was really no one else for me. We've always said God sent him my direction when he needed my family,but before I really needed to get serious. We've always learned life's lessons the hard way and we did everything our own way.
Once again, I'm rambling and not getting to the reason for today's post. I've had the privilege of reading several blogs today that discuss how to keep a marriage happy,loving, and growing; and I wanted to share some things I've learned over the last 21 years. So here goes:

*Decide every morning that you're going to love your sweetheart. This just happened to be the advice my Grandmama gave me on my wedding day and it's served me well over the years. This is that agape love the Bible talks about,not the lust side of things.
*The only time you can change a man is when he's in diapers. (Many thanks to Sue Crabtree for bringing this to my attention.) It's not my job to nag, irritate, or badger my sweetheart. If I didn't love and like who he was before I married him then I shouldn't have married. I love Proverbs 31 and the account of the Virtuous Wife she's who I long to be. If I concentrate on being the wife God wants me to be, the rest seems to eventually fall into place.
* Be thankful for Green Bean Sandwiches and Mac-n-Cheese. When money is tight and you're not real sure what will come next,put your faith in the promises God made that we don't have to worry about where our next meal will come from. Like I said earlier we did everything the hard way, including getting married and heading to Montgomery with no place to live. We were the epitome of young and stupid and believed in living on love. There have been times when it was just a little more than love and faith that we lived on. Take these opportunities to learn to depend on each other. We laugh now about our green bean sandwiches we ate for dinner the first week we were married,at the time we laughed so we wouldn't cry, now we look back and see the beginning of a marriage built on faith and love and facing the challenges of the world as a couple and not as individuals.
* Be thankful for dirty socks left by the chair and clothes that don't get hung up, someday you may wish they were there. I guess this get back to nagging, that's not your God given responsibility and it breeds frustration and disgust instead of love and respect.
* If you want to get your way,put away the claws and pour on the honey. Don't expect immediate results and be willing to grin and bear it until you see the result you're looking for. (Leonard Johnson gave me this gold nugget and it works...and yes sometimes it takes years to get what you're looking for)
* Hold hands as often as you can and sit close to each other. Even when there is no money and no babysitter, choose to hold your sweetheart's hand or snuggle up beside him on the couch.
*Notice the good qualities in your sweetheart and TELL him how much you appreciate him. When you do this he hears I LOVE YOU better than he would if you went outside and actually yelled the words for the neighborhood to hear.
*Listen to him talk about his dreams and encourage him to go for it. Even if it means that for a season you are not the center of his world.
*Look for the little things he does and appreciate them. I know as women we solve our problems by talking them to death, but our sweethearts want to fix the problem for us. So when you're just wanting to share a problem and he begins to try and help you find the solution take the time to listen to what he's really saying...I love you soo much that I don't want you to have any problems.
*Make sure you say the words I love you, don't ever assume that he'll just know. Take every opportunity to give him a good hug and tell him you appreciate the husband, father, and Christian he is.

Take the time to enjoy the green bean sandwiches of life, see them as an opportunity to grow as a couple and a family. Find the blessing that God is sending amidst the trials and financial strain. May God bless you and your marriage as you work to be the wife, mother, and Christian God plan's for you to be.

A Longing for Heaven

I don't know about you, but there are times when the desire to see heaven and worship at God's feet becomes so overwhelming that my soul seems to overflow. Some days this happens because of all the good and joy that have come from the day,but most of the time it occurs when I'm weary of fighting pain. I promise, I don't spend my time thinking o' poor me. And I know that you are probably as tired of me talking about my pain as I am with dealing with it. But there are times when the desire to see God's face becomes so intense, so great a need that I become physically weak with the longing. Paul makes a statement close to this that To live is Christ and to die is gain. I soo get this scripture now. I understand Moses pleading with God to allow him to see His face. I can honestly say for me there is no fear in death, only a longing and desire for the troubles of this world to end quickly, so I can go home. (I promise that the only thing I'll do to hasten this is heart felt prayer for the Second coming.) I'm soo thankful the Father has given us the Holy Spirit-the Comforter. He takes the very groanings of my heart and presents them to the Father with an eloquence no mortal man could pen. He brings to mind those precious passages of scripture that are filled with the promises of being given no load too heavy to bear, that the Great Physician is near and works through prayer on our behalf, and just How Beautiful Heaven Must Be. He allows us to feel the closeness of the Father...if we'll just be still and know that He is God.

What joy there is in knowing that Our Father does care (Satan uses the pain and trials to throw us off track, look at the book of Job). Satan kept telling God if you'll let me just take everything from him, he won't put his faith in You. Job had days where he wished he'd never been born and he questioned the "why" of his suffering.

There are blessings that come with this type of longing. If I'm going to pray for Christ to return quickly, then I'd better be sure I'm ready to stand before the judgement seat. So it causes me to do a lot of heart exploration and to question Is My Heart Right With God? If He returns in the next moment, am I ready to join Him? Am I living and Following in the Footsteps of Jesus? Do my friends know that I'm a Christian by the love I show not only to my brothers and sisters but to the stranger on the street? Do I allow my light to shine so that those who come in contact with me can see the Son in my actions and speech? Do I spend time in prayer praising God for the many blessings He's given, praying in faith for healing and contentment? Am I being the Christian mama God wants me to be? In my speech, does my little man hear respect for his earthly father? Do I take advantage of each teachable moment when it comes to helping him see our Heavenly Father? Am I teaching Him the power of prayer? Does he see in my actions that I am struggling to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, study and prayer, and can I give an answer for the HOPE that lives in me?

The answers to the questions above are not all "yes" answers. In fact, just this week, I sat my little man down and had a very grown up disscussion with him about my attitude and his. I apologized for not having the patience I should and promised I would work on it. I also pointed out some areas he needed to work on too.

Yesterday, for the first time, I didn't find that comfort that ussually comes from a trip to the beach. Maybe just maybe, God wants me to feel His very tangible presence, in a quiet back room of the house, in the dark,all by myself, just me and Him. To realize in a small place, His greatness. To know I don't have to leave my room to find Him, He's always here...He always holds me in His arms and that He can make me feel just how powerful He is here in the quiet, as well as in the salt air and wind and the pounding surf. Or maybe I just didn't take the time to relax and give all the "yuck" and pain to the Ocean breeze to carry far out to sea, so that I could see the power of the Father.

I pray for the 2nd Coming to come quickly.(I know that this is a prayer that has been prayed for since the apostles met in the upper room after Christ's resurrection.) I long to look upon the face of GOD, I look forward to spending an eternity singing praises at the foot of His throne, and I look forward to the fullfillment of the promise that there will be no tears and no pain as we walk the streets of gold. This is the peace that passes all understanding, the comfort that we gain when we wear the yoke of Christ and let Him take the reigns and give Him the CONTROL, instead of pulling and fighting the bit. My Jesus Knows Just What I Need, He Satisfies and Every Need Supplies, I just have to let go and let God!

Happy Valentine's Day

WoW, It has been forever since I've updated this blog! The headache level has been high and now most of my creative energy goes toward trying to find ways to make learning fun for my little man. All that said, it's not the reason for this blog today :)
Happy Valentine's Day!
How blessed I am to live with two very special "boys", OK Rich isn't a boy but an awesome man and husband. He has always been and Lord willing will always be my white knight in shining armer. He's a fixer, if there's a problem...a dragon to slay,he gets out there and does it. He has taken the time to educate himself in how to use acupunture and accupressure to help my headaches, and he keeps me out of the ER with his skill. I know that he's weary of fighting this particular dragon just as much as I am of being in it's clutches. Yet he continues to fight and stay in the den of the beast with me and for that I'm so thankful and so blessed. Not many men stay,to fight this fight. I know this from group therapy sessions in the headache clinic where out of 30 women only two of us still were with the same mate we began the fight of the headache with. So, Happy Valentines,RERE!! You are the other half of my soul, I love how you make me feel beautiful even when my hair is a mess,I'm still in my pj's, and I'm wearing that unseen flashing sign that says "DON"T TOUCH, TOO MUCH PAIN". You sweet man are my rock and yet I love how you allow me to see how deeply you love me and our beautiful son.
Nine years ago today, I gave my little man his first valentine. It was one of those toys that crinckled, and rattled and had arms and legs. It went straight into his mouth (it still seems that almost everything still goes straight into his mouth :)). But he took that toy and immediately began chewing on it and wrestling with it as he played on his pallet on the floor, and I...well I fell even more in love with him and didn't know a mama's heart could be so full, yet over the years that love has grown stronger and stronger. As a little man of 8,he has a heart that is filled with compassion, a love for our heavenly Father, and such joy that it overflows onto and into those who meet him. He is my heart! He taught me that I can continue to share my heart with others and that he can share his heart with others and there is still plenty of love left to share. How blessed we have been with this little man. I also love the fact that he can sometimes be a walking, talking reflection of his daddy. He desires perfection, he wants to help those who need help, and yes he is a stubborn as the day is long,but that is a trait that will serve him well as he grows. He'll say something and the way he says it has my RERE written all over it and sometimes just his expression reminds me so much of his daddy that I can't help but laugh.
So on this Valentine's Day,I give my heart all over again to my boys. I love you more than words could ever express!!
To all those family members and friends out there, I love you,too!! Your prayers and encouragement make moving through each day with chronic pain possible. You have my heart as well. To our birthmother, thanks again for choosing us to share your heart with, you are as much a part of our forever family as little man is! Happy Valentine's Day all. Don't forget to share your love with those near and far...you never know when the opprotunity may be taken away from you. And finally as the Psalmist says "God is good,His LOVE endures forever!!