As of 5:00 pm yesterday, I have officially been dealing with migraine pain every minute of every day for the last 19 years. Some anniversaries we'd love to do without. There are those days that forever change our lives. Yesterday all those years ago, had been a typical day at school, and we were getting ready to go to church for a meeting. Until then I'd had headaches but I had never experienced that kind of pain. It was the beginning of a search for relief that to some degree still continues today. The part of myself that could make long-range plans, enjoy screaming on roller coasters, and having the energy to do what I wanted...that part of me is gone. In return, I have more compassion for others who are struggling. I understand more than ever that it's God who gets me up each day and it's his promises that have kept me here. Depression is real and at times no matter how much you want to choose to be happy you can't. (It's this point you want to tell someone close to you exactly what you're thinking along with telling your doctor how you feel. Many of the drugs used to treat a migraine also treat depression,) Don't wait until you have all those meds lined up in front of you before sharing the struggle. You don't have to walk this path alone.
During those 19 years, I've dealt with some scary side effects along with blessings. I can be thankful for the migraine because it lead us to adopting our son. I've learned how to use relaxation exercises to keep me out of the ER. I've learned the value of combining traditional medicine with acupuncture, oils, etc. I learned early to research for myself the latest treatments for chronic migraine. I learned which doctors to keep and which to steer clear of.
I don't give advice on migraines unless asked because, by the time you've made a trip out of state and stayed in an inpatient treatment program, you come home knowing more than your local neurologist (unless they are a headache specialist). My longest hospitalization was right at a month in Michigan, I've also had many one week to three week stays at the Diamond Headache Clinic in Chicago.
Just a little more than 2 years ago, we began the process of learning to live with the neurostimulator implant. (Most pain docs are used to seeing these used in the treatment of backpain, so finding someone willing to work with us now that I'm wired for sound was a challenge and a blessing in itself.) The implant has made a big difference, I can now look at the world without the constant need for sunglasses, and though the pain is ever present it no longer puts me to bed for weeks at a time.
The best advice I can give is to find the headache guru in your area, be willing to give new treatment plans a try....even when it's a list of what to eliminate from your diet. Be kind to yourself and explain life with a chronic migraine to friends and family. There are some wonderful resources out there now that were not available even 5 years ago. Find a support group...you need someone who listens to the bad days but who will also encourage you to keep moving forward. Finding a circle of folks who deal with chronic pain of any type and create a prayer group has been just as important as the right treatment program.Nights are long and days filled with beautiful sunshine can sometimes make you feel like a vampire ready to burst into flames. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Let it be your mantra. Spend time in Job...sometimes you'll see well-meaning friends among the friends of Job. Study the life of Paul, find the scriptures that you can repeat over and over again inside your head.
If you need an ear or a prayer, please feel free to reach out. I'm praying for all of us today that our Father will give us the strength to deal with chronic pain and that He will send us people who can help as we travel this journey.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Friday, July 14, 2017
To See The Sea
The land I live in is filled with ups and downs; I long for something more. This place is dark, and it is lonely, yet it leads me to a shore. The man I see is waiting for me with an offer I can't ignore. In this land I live in, he's provided helpers, and they promise he's the answer to the pain and sorrows here. They've told me that he's special, that he's a protector from the storm.
He waits for me with love and patience; I have only to reach out my hand. He stands beside a sea that he can walk on, I can see the love he has for me, he knows my every need. I look out across the water, sometimes it's gentle, at times it rages, but he has the power to walk on waves, and promises to walk along beside me. He holds onto a boat named Grace, invites me to come aboard. Do I have faith to board sweet Grace, and am I willing to row across the water? The Sea of Salvation flows to new shores, but I can hear the howling of the wind. It scares me, but the man says watch and understand.
He tells the winds to be quiet; the waves are still again. I look again out at the Sea, and then back to the boat. Once again the man reaches out his hand, and I reach out my own. What kind of land will I be rowing towards? Why should I leave this shore? With a gentle smile and loving tone, he answers, "It is my home. A place where there are no tears, no pain is ever known. Oh, the singing there is beautiful, and our father, who loves you. You see he sent me here across the storm filled sea.The sea now does my bidding, the winds I now control. All you must do to get there is keep rowing for the shore. The winds will come, and the waves toss high, but you'll never be alone. For I can walk upon the Sea, all you'll have to do is call."
I considered all the man had said and I stepped into the boat. I picked up the oars to row but hesitated still. I wondered what would happen if the storms about me raged, and I could no longer see the man who would push me out to Sea. "Dear one", said the man, "You worry over nothing, for there may be times I don't calm the storm, but I'll be with you to endure. If by some chance you lose hope and are tossed into the sea, all you have to do is ask for help, and I'll be there to rescue you. I'll be there to anchor the boat as you board her once again. You'll find yourself still closer to the shore you've made your goal."
With questions answered and safely aboard Grace, I began to row. Across the Sea of Salvation to the shore of Paradise, I set my course to go. The man who waited by the shore was there on good days and bad. Sometimes I work to stay afloat, the winds toss me about, but all I have to do is call for help. The man hears my cries and answers, strengthens my arms as I row on. I'm sailing on toward a distant shore, but when the rowing is done. I know the shore on which I'll land is a bright and shining home. A place to rest my weary head, no pain or sorrow there. A place where only joy and peace are forever found.
He waits for me with love and patience; I have only to reach out my hand. He stands beside a sea that he can walk on, I can see the love he has for me, he knows my every need. I look out across the water, sometimes it's gentle, at times it rages, but he has the power to walk on waves, and promises to walk along beside me. He holds onto a boat named Grace, invites me to come aboard. Do I have faith to board sweet Grace, and am I willing to row across the water? The Sea of Salvation flows to new shores, but I can hear the howling of the wind. It scares me, but the man says watch and understand.
He tells the winds to be quiet; the waves are still again. I look again out at the Sea, and then back to the boat. Once again the man reaches out his hand, and I reach out my own. What kind of land will I be rowing towards? Why should I leave this shore? With a gentle smile and loving tone, he answers, "It is my home. A place where there are no tears, no pain is ever known. Oh, the singing there is beautiful, and our father, who loves you. You see he sent me here across the storm filled sea.The sea now does my bidding, the winds I now control. All you must do to get there is keep rowing for the shore. The winds will come, and the waves toss high, but you'll never be alone. For I can walk upon the Sea, all you'll have to do is call."
I considered all the man had said and I stepped into the boat. I picked up the oars to row but hesitated still. I wondered what would happen if the storms about me raged, and I could no longer see the man who would push me out to Sea. "Dear one", said the man, "You worry over nothing, for there may be times I don't calm the storm, but I'll be with you to endure. If by some chance you lose hope and are tossed into the sea, all you have to do is ask for help, and I'll be there to rescue you. I'll be there to anchor the boat as you board her once again. You'll find yourself still closer to the shore you've made your goal."
With questions answered and safely aboard Grace, I began to row. Across the Sea of Salvation to the shore of Paradise, I set my course to go. The man who waited by the shore was there on good days and bad. Sometimes I work to stay afloat, the winds toss me about, but all I have to do is call for help. The man hears my cries and answers, strengthens my arms as I row on. I'm sailing on toward a distant shore, but when the rowing is done. I know the shore on which I'll land is a bright and shining home. A place to rest my weary head, no pain or sorrow there. A place where only joy and peace are forever found.
Monday, July 3, 2017
A Time to Meet Christ
The following is a little different from what I usually share but it has been tugging at my heart for two years.
She stood on the edges of the crowd, she just needed to see for herself surely the boy who grew up in Nazareth that the little old ladies talked about being born "early" wasn't the man who drew a crowd no matter where He went. It couldn't be Mary's son that was causing so much talk.
Yet, there before her eyes was the Man who had the same eyes and strong hands she remembered from His working with Joseph. She kept thinking I'm not brave enough to approach Him.
The more she listened, the more hopeful she became. Jesus took care of the sick, He touched those who were unclean. Yet deep down she didn't feel worthy to even be in the crowd with Him. She knew the drill... pray, have faith, and the pain will stop. The emotional pain, the physical pain that woke her in the dark hour before dawn, all those things together must mean she's not worthy of His grace.
But wait, He just caused a blind beggar to see...He spoke to a Roman soldier, and from across the crowd, she could see them smile and leave.
She'd spent so many days following and listening. She knew the names of others who stood on the fringe, the ones like her who wanted to hear every word, the yet couldn't grasp that God could love someone so small, so full of sin. Yet the night had been a long one, filled with hurt, confusion, and anger. She knew that this was her moment to break loose from sinfulness to living a life with real meaning. It was amazing to look him in the eyes and recognize He already knew everything that she needed from Him. She just had to say it out loud and know that she didn't have to carry the pain alone. The Man who stood before her now spoke of His yoke being easy and the burden He asked her to bear being light. She thought about the pain filled night and His promise that one day He could give her a home where the son shine was always bright, there would be no tears, and the streets would be made of gold. So the woman who had been on the fringe of the crowd weaved through the vast numbers and reached out Her hand.
It was with a little fear and a lot of hope that she touched just the hem of His garment...so many were doing just as she was. The joy came when she lifted her eyes and looked into the eyes of Mary's son who she now knew was the Messiah who had been promised. The gentleness and love looking back at her made her weep and want to sing all at once. He continued teaching, as she moved so another could get close enough to find healing too. He didn't just heal the physical pain, but He healed all those broken pieces of her heart. She was ready now to live for the promises He taught, and she shared with all who would listen about how the Teacher had transformed her life.
Today, God has given us the Bible. He has provided us with the way to reach Him. It is my hope that this fictional story will make you long for the personal relationship with Christ that comes from reading His word and obeying it. By reading the Gospels and the book Acts, we can all see who Christ is and what He wants for our lives. The way to salvation has not changed since the first gospel sermon given in Acts 2. May God bless us all as we strive to live our lives for Him.
She stood on the edges of the crowd, she just needed to see for herself surely the boy who grew up in Nazareth that the little old ladies talked about being born "early" wasn't the man who drew a crowd no matter where He went. It couldn't be Mary's son that was causing so much talk.
Yet, there before her eyes was the Man who had the same eyes and strong hands she remembered from His working with Joseph. She kept thinking I'm not brave enough to approach Him.
The more she listened, the more hopeful she became. Jesus took care of the sick, He touched those who were unclean. Yet deep down she didn't feel worthy to even be in the crowd with Him. She knew the drill... pray, have faith, and the pain will stop. The emotional pain, the physical pain that woke her in the dark hour before dawn, all those things together must mean she's not worthy of His grace.
But wait, He just caused a blind beggar to see...He spoke to a Roman soldier, and from across the crowd, she could see them smile and leave.
She'd spent so many days following and listening. She knew the names of others who stood on the fringe, the ones like her who wanted to hear every word, the yet couldn't grasp that God could love someone so small, so full of sin. Yet the night had been a long one, filled with hurt, confusion, and anger. She knew that this was her moment to break loose from sinfulness to living a life with real meaning. It was amazing to look him in the eyes and recognize He already knew everything that she needed from Him. She just had to say it out loud and know that she didn't have to carry the pain alone. The Man who stood before her now spoke of His yoke being easy and the burden He asked her to bear being light. She thought about the pain filled night and His promise that one day He could give her a home where the son shine was always bright, there would be no tears, and the streets would be made of gold. So the woman who had been on the fringe of the crowd weaved through the vast numbers and reached out Her hand.
It was with a little fear and a lot of hope that she touched just the hem of His garment...so many were doing just as she was. The joy came when she lifted her eyes and looked into the eyes of Mary's son who she now knew was the Messiah who had been promised. The gentleness and love looking back at her made her weep and want to sing all at once. He continued teaching, as she moved so another could get close enough to find healing too. He didn't just heal the physical pain, but He healed all those broken pieces of her heart. She was ready now to live for the promises He taught, and she shared with all who would listen about how the Teacher had transformed her life.
Today, God has given us the Bible. He has provided us with the way to reach Him. It is my hope that this fictional story will make you long for the personal relationship with Christ that comes from reading His word and obeying it. By reading the Gospels and the book Acts, we can all see who Christ is and what He wants for our lives. The way to salvation has not changed since the first gospel sermon given in Acts 2. May God bless us all as we strive to live our lives for Him.
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Times of Tough Spots
During the tough spots of our life, we either end up losing more than we ever thought possible or we slowly find our way through faith and grace a new level of hope that we never dreamed was possible. It's those times we are hurting emotionally, physically, or both that we get to choose to stay stuck in the middle of the yucky, lost place we're in, or we can deal with the hurt and find out that God has worked in our hearts another level of hope, love, and compassion. Sometimes it doesn't take us long to decide, but there are times when it takes long sleepless nights, days spent feeling sorry for ourselves, and time spent examining our hearts under the microscope of what we think is fair or unfair. It can feel as if every breath we draw and every decision made is a battle waged against the devil. He is the deceiver. He wants us to look at what we're dealing with and see an unloving God who plays games with our lives or A God who no longer cares or sees us hurting and fighting. It's been a rough season for me. My heart breaks with those who have lost loved ones, friends who are dealing with chronic pain, and watching those I love walk their own roads of suffering. It's when we are trying so hard to please the Father, yet we continue to encounter road blocks at every turn. I don't have the answers, but I know the One who loves me enough that He suffers right beside me. He cares so much more than I can begin to fathom the depth of that love and grace. So this morning, I'm pushing to see the beauty and growth that comes with suffering.It's the tough times that are used to bring us a deeper capacity for caring and loving. It's those times that help us see that this world is not our home. It's those times that help us see the Sonshine and walk in the warm rays of God's love and grace.
Romans 5: 1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
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