Green Bean Sandwiches

I met my sweetheart at Gulf Coast Bible Camp the summer I turned 14. I honestly have to say that I was one giant walking, talking hormone and a major pain at home most of the time. I was the typical know it all pre-teen. I fell head over heels in lust with my sweety when my youth group and his went roller skating together,and from that point on there was really no one else for me. We've always said God sent him my direction when he needed my family,but before I really needed to get serious. We've always learned life's lessons the hard way and we did everything our own way.
Once again, I'm rambling and not getting to the reason for today's post. I've had the privilege of reading several blogs today that discuss how to keep a marriage happy,loving, and growing; and I wanted to share some things I've learned over the last 21 years. So here goes:

*Decide every morning that you're going to love your sweetheart. This just happened to be the advice my Grandmama gave me on my wedding day and it's served me well over the years. This is that agape love the Bible talks about,not the lust side of things.
*The only time you can change a man is when he's in diapers. (Many thanks to Sue Crabtree for bringing this to my attention.) It's not my job to nag, irritate, or badger my sweetheart. If I didn't love and like who he was before I married him then I shouldn't have married. I love Proverbs 31 and the account of the Virtuous Wife she's who I long to be. If I concentrate on being the wife God wants me to be, the rest seems to eventually fall into place.
* Be thankful for Green Bean Sandwiches and Mac-n-Cheese. When money is tight and you're not real sure what will come next,put your faith in the promises God made that we don't have to worry about where our next meal will come from. Like I said earlier we did everything the hard way, including getting married and heading to Montgomery with no place to live. We were the epitome of young and stupid and believed in living on love. There have been times when it was just a little more than love and faith that we lived on. Take these opportunities to learn to depend on each other. We laugh now about our green bean sandwiches we ate for dinner the first week we were married,at the time we laughed so we wouldn't cry, now we look back and see the beginning of a marriage built on faith and love and facing the challenges of the world as a couple and not as individuals.
* Be thankful for dirty socks left by the chair and clothes that don't get hung up, someday you may wish they were there. I guess this get back to nagging, that's not your God given responsibility and it breeds frustration and disgust instead of love and respect.
* If you want to get your way,put away the claws and pour on the honey. Don't expect immediate results and be willing to grin and bear it until you see the result you're looking for. (Leonard Johnson gave me this gold nugget and it works...and yes sometimes it takes years to get what you're looking for)
* Hold hands as often as you can and sit close to each other. Even when there is no money and no babysitter, choose to hold your sweetheart's hand or snuggle up beside him on the couch.
*Notice the good qualities in your sweetheart and TELL him how much you appreciate him. When you do this he hears I LOVE YOU better than he would if you went outside and actually yelled the words for the neighborhood to hear.
*Listen to him talk about his dreams and encourage him to go for it. Even if it means that for a season you are not the center of his world.
*Look for the little things he does and appreciate them. I know as women we solve our problems by talking them to death, but our sweethearts want to fix the problem for us. So when you're just wanting to share a problem and he begins to try and help you find the solution take the time to listen to what he's really saying...I love you soo much that I don't want you to have any problems.
*Make sure you say the words I love you, don't ever assume that he'll just know. Take every opportunity to give him a good hug and tell him you appreciate the husband, father, and Christian he is.

Take the time to enjoy the green bean sandwiches of life, see them as an opportunity to grow as a couple and a family. Find the blessing that God is sending amidst the trials and financial strain. May God bless you and your marriage as you work to be the wife, mother, and Christian God plan's for you to be.