Saturday, October 6, 2012
I’m sitting at home today by myself in the quiet (except for the roaring of the headache in my head) and I’m remembering the butterflies that filled my stomach in the days before October 8th ten years ago. I was scared, excited, and so full of what ifs. I can look back at those days now and grin and thank God for them. They where a part of my “birthing pains”. We had met with a beautiful young lady on two occasions and I knew she loved her baby with her whole heart, there was absolutely no question about that. She wanted a Mama and a Daddy for her baby in a secure home that would provide him with love and honor his Asian heritage. Who would have ever thought that all that dojo time would help us get our hearts desire? Our God works in awesome ways. I was so scared that once she saw that sweet boy she would change her mind, but her love for him was bigger than that. It was bigger than what would make her feel good, but so full and deep that her concern was for her sweet boy.
So, in the midst of her pain, she brought us JOY!! I want to shout that word from the mountain tops. Our lives had revolved around pain for 4 years…the pain of losing my sister and cousin and the ever present pain of the headache. When we got the phone call telling us our birthmother was in labor, it was as if a light had come on and the hope that had taken up residence in my heart began to glow a little stronger…yet we were still afraid to believe. You know how Sarah laughed when she heard the Lord tell Abraham that she would bear him a child in her old age…that wanting to believe yet not wanting your heart to be broken once again…that’s where we were. In fact, very few people knew that we were even in the process of adoption. We didn’t want anyone to have to grieve with us if this sweet girl decided to keep her baby. It took the social worker some time to convince us to call our parents and let them know that we would be bringing our boy home.
I’ve written about the time we spent pacing and waiting. It’s the joy I wanted to concentrate on today. You see when our sweet boy’s birthmother made the decision to place him in our forever family, she gave us the gift of JOY! My boy taught this pain filled lady how to laugh again and that we (my Sweetheart and me) could laugh even through the hurt. What a blessing he has been!!
So on Monday, he turns 10. He’s so excited to be turning the double digits, and yes, his eyes twinkle when he talks about it…and my sweetheart and I…well, we laugh. It’s wonderful, and I’m so thankful that he is strong and healthy and smart…and above all he’s growing spiritually. I know my boy is not perfect and we have lots of growing to do, but he has a tender heart and a love for the Father. He’s reaching the age where he says that’s not right and can tell me why, so we’re making progress and I’m thankful.
This turning 10 business is a little hard for me. He’s outgrown my lap a longtime ago, but he will still come snuggle. Mama can now embarrass him with things he used to laugh and clap over. So, I’m going to fasten my seatbelt and get ready cause here we come tweens and teens.
Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to love this child. Help me to meet his needs, and help me to let your love shine through me. Help me to have the wisdom to know which battles to fight and which ones to let slide. Grant me patience when the day gets long and he pushes my buttons, and give me strength to discipline the way you want me to in a consistent manner. Thank you for his birthmother and the choice she made. Give her comfort and peace as only you can. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.