Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Run for a Mom 2012
I’ve been trying to put this blogg together for almost a year, but the emotions were just to close to the surface and finding the right words just didn’t come. Last year our family participated in Agape’s Run for a Mom. We started talking about, what if we can do this as a family, when the announcement came in Agape’s winter newsletter. With the headache, we never seem to put our plans in stone, but this time it was different. This time my little man spent a lot of time talking about the run and honoring his birthmother. So we put the day in stone and made the plans to be there. Little man picked out a picture of our forever family that included his birthmother (I think he chose that one because of the great memories and silly faces that were made the day the picture was taken.) We then went to find matching outfits for the big day. We had everything together our clothes, running shoes, 3 color copies of the picture, and my meds. If you hade asked me at 5 am that morning if I believed the day would be emotional, I would have said, “YES”, but in a joyful way.
It was joyful! We saw friends that we only see two or three times a year. We were all outside in the sun together, and we were ready to do the Fun Run. We were celebrating that my meds were doing their thing and that a sweet young lady had the courage and self-sacrificing love to place her sweet boy with us. But I have to say that as we stood in line for our packets, each of us got very quiet and the emotions began to become overwhelming. All of a sudden, little man was worried that he was going to hurt my feelings. (I promise we talked about this before hand and I’d reassured him I was excited about honoring his birthmother.) In the packet with our number, there was a place to write who you were running for. My sweet boy looked at me with his beautiful eyes and in them I saw the question, “Mama, are you sure this is okay?” So in answer, I took the marker and on my tag wrote his birthmother’s name. At that point he followed suit and the three of us pinned our picture and numbers to our shirts.
We cheered for the 5K runners as they left and came running back in. The joy on faces as they crossed the finish line was awesome. There were daddies carrying babies in back packs and many parents with strollers, and the celebration of families created by God still gives me goose bumps. We had a little time before the fun run to enjoy some bluegrass music, and then it was time for us to line up. We knew going into it that this Mama would not be running but I would be walking. My boys had planned to run it and then come back and finish it with me. I can’t begin to describe the love I felt waiting to start…you see my sweetheart had two names on his tag and that meant the world to me. He was celebrating me and little man’s birthmother, such a sweet moment. I went to the back of the pack because I knew I would get in the way of the other runners, and my boys were up at the front. I promise I walked that mile as fast as I could, and there were two mamas with strollers who were being sweet and going slower so I wouldn’t feel lonely. About halfway through, I could see two people running back towards me. There were my boys, who had already crossed the finish line, coming back to cross it with me. We were the last ones to finish, and there we were with one of them on each side of me. All I could do was cry and smile, my little man accepted my answer that Mama was just being silly and went off to play. My sweetheart knew my heart and tucked me under his arm and we went for some water.
I thank God every day for my sweet boy’s birthmother. The gift she gave us goes beyond words. The love that grew even deeper that day was awesome and God given. Over and over again, God has used my little man to stretch my heart and make it wider and deeper. I hope that my boys are learning the same thing. One lesson I’ve learned through adoption is while there may be no physical labor pains, there are emotional ones. I’m thankful for them because they’ve taught me many lessons. The most important lesson is don’t judge a heart based on how you would do things, but open your heart to others just like our Heavenly Father does.
Eph 3:14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, :15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, :16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, :17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, :18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, :19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. :20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, :21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.