Time for Some Fun

I find that too often I take myself way too seriously. I hate having my picture made, and I definitely don't enjoy drawing attention to myself. The headache literaly had kept me in the house for a month. When I finally started feeling better, we made a trip to our favorite classroom...the park. We had it all to ourselves and little man ran circles around me while I called out spelling words. During a play break, he picked up my camera and shot the video I hope will show up below.

My sweet boy loves to make me laugh and he succeeded. Listen close and you can hear just how much the headache affects our lives when he gives out the scientific name of the habitat for the elusive Mateacher Foot. Originally I said no way to letting anyone outside the immediate family see the footage. Then I remembered to take a deep breath and enjoy making a memory. I want him to look back on his childhood and remember so much more than my daily fight with pain. I want to encourage the carefree fun and creativity of moments like this one. It was a good day in April, and we have had a good afternoon getting it uploaded and edited. Hope you enjoy the fun as much as we did. Solomon tells us in Proverbs that a merry heart is better than medicine. It has been good for both us to sit and laugh together for him to have a chance to share a goofy experience with this old Mama.

May God help us to find the fun moments in each, encourage our children to be silly and creative, and may we shine His love to them and for them in our actions.

A Time of Questions

It seems the older I get the more questions I have. It fits right in with something my sweetheart told our son this weekend. He said, “Son, the time will come when you think that Mama and I are absolute idiots and you'll question everything we do, but remember that I predicted it would happen. When you realize I was right, you're really going to hate having to admit that Dad really does know something; in fact, he just might be a genius. And you're going to hate it all the more.” Really and truly that's what the adolescent and the young adult years are all about..questions. Questions that race widely around in their head about everything from how's my hair look to is there really a God.

I guess where I'm trying to go with this is that we have to give our children the tools to answer all those questions for themselves. Have we helped to cultivate a spirit of confidence; so that they can walk around with confidence no matter the hair style. Have we helped them to cultivate a love for God's word and encouraged them to decide God is the Creator and author of salvation not because Mama and Daddy believe it, but because they can study and make that decision for themselves.
God gives us some parameters for raising children and here are a few:

Proverbs 22:​​6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
​And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

These verses remind us that we must train our children. They don't come into this world programmed to obey, speak politely and use their best manners. In fact, children will take a chance even when all the odds are stacked against them just to see if we're going to hold the line we said we would. If we aren't consistent then we won't get the results we want. It means that even when my head is screaming with the pain from the headache that I will still enforce our family rule: to do right. In doing this, I must be careful to mirror the same love God has for me as I discipline/train. It means that my son understands that I don't like the way he is behaving but I still love him. In the heat of the moment words that cannot be taken back can place scars on the heart of the child. There is an understanding that this is the behavior I expect from you and I'm sorry that you chose to make a bad decision. It is one of my big pet peeves to hear a child be told they are bad, stupid, etc. The child is not bad the decision was. God sent his one and only son to die for me while I was still a sinner. He hates the sin, but loves the person. It's one of those things I must work really hard at to remember.

It is important that the rules stay the same for the same situation. It meas I must train him to know the difference in how to act inside, outside at home, outside away from home, and how I expect him to sit and listen during worship. It is important that I don't change the rules mid- stream. In our house this is when the pouty face will appear and hands will clench. It's often done because his expectation for my reaction (based on past experiences) doesn't meet up with what happens. This definitely provokes anger. As a small child, he didn't know how to express that anger except in tears. Now, it means I'm dealing with a sullen non responsive tween. It's at these times that I'm learning just as much as he is. If I don't listen to his concerns then things can escalate to a level where I may be provoking him to anger/ make a bad choice.

It is my desire to encourage and train at the same time. If I like the behavior I'm seeing I tell him. By letting him know what I like to see, he gets a better picture of my expectations. We have done this since he began to crawl and climb. Our children long to please us, just as we should long to please God. If there are certain actions you don't want to see, prepare them to act the way you want when they are small. I enjoyed visiting the shut-ins and widows one night a week with a girl friend before our son's adoption. I wanted to be able to take him with me and not fuss at him the whole time about don't touch. So I put a bowl with flowers on our coffee table, he was not allowed to touch it at all because it was not his. In fact from the time he was able to talk to age five (aside from the word no) the words he and I both said where “If it not mine/yours then don't touch it. I tried to keep something of his on the table as well. He could play with what belonged to him, but if he went for my flowers a small pop on the hand was a reminder it wasn't his. It worked (most of the time) and I could take him with me. He would begin to crawl to a table with someone else's pretties and I would say “If it's not yours don't touch it.” If He kept moving then I would go pick him up and give him a toy that I would take with me. This was training him in a safe place to make the right choice. We are still trying to do that as we begin to give more freedom and more choices where the consequences are punishment in themselves.

OK, this is my last suggestion, but for me it's a big one. Allow your child to make choices as often as possible. From at bedtime, do you want water from the kitchen or water from the sink in the bathroom? Always provide two choices that you can live with..” Do you want to snuggle and watch a short cartoon or read a book before bed?” Being able to make even the smallest choices is empowering and allows for the child to trust their own judgment. As they get older the choices change from “Do you want to do an extra days school work today, or stop now?” By doing the extra day early they have a whole day to play or be away from the house, or possibly missing out on something that he wants to do the next day because he wanted to stop school the day before. As the consequences make a bigger impact on the outcome, the child learns more about himself and what works and what doesn't.

So, what did any of this have to do with my sweetheart and me being geniuses in the eyes of our son. It's about the answers to the questions or choices. It's allowing him to see that we've been there done that, and by the very nature of our being human he will repeat it. Maybe the questions that I find myself asking myself are much like the choices I'm giving my son. As I strive to make God's will my will, maybe He is allowing me to learn from the consequences as well. It means that I must spend more time in His word looking for the answers and more time interacting with others to put my solutions into practice. If I don't like the result then I've learned a valuable lesson. Know I need to study more and do things differently the next time.

Dear Father, please help me to make good choices both as a parent and as your child. Help me to honor you in all things, and help me to train this precious soul you've placed in my keeping and to encourage him to love you. Help me Father to allow Him room to chose you for himself and not because I chose you for him. Be with me Father and help me to be the Mama You want me to be, and to glorify You in all things. In Jesus' name, Amen.

A Time of Anger

James 3:16-18 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. (NLT)

We've been studying the book of James this semester for school. I picked it because it's one that I know I need the most work in. I wanted my boy to see that I recognize that when I complain and fuss about things and people that I know it's something I need to work on. I haven't been doing a good job of keeping my tongue under control. I mess up a lot. In fact, I mess up so often that I began to wonder am I really trying to control what comes out of my mouth. If I'm wondering it, I can only imagine what my sweet boy thinks.

Then yesterday, we had one of those days. A day where it seemed as if everything he said or did was in the opposite direction of where I wanted our day to go. He saw a side of me that to be really honest only my sweetheart has seen on a few occasions...I mean the last time I can remember being that angry was when I was a teenager fighting it out with my younger sister. (Those days I didn't even try to control my temper and Jenny and I both had scares from some of our fights.) I promise I didn't touch my boy, but he probably wished I had because by the time I unloaded all the frustration and anger on him...I know he felt the sting of words that cut deep and can't be taken back. He was trying me to see just what he could get away with and instead of taking care of things one at a time, I waited for the explosion.

So here we are back to why I've picked James for our Bible Study. Words are powerful! They can build up and tear down. I want my speech to reflect peace and gentleness....even when the pain in my head brews like a storm. So today, I decided to read James to him from the New Living Translation. As I was reading, I heard an oh and hmm. I know he was listening. Our study Bible is the NKJV, but for the first time he was really grasping the struggle that every Christian has to love the world or the spiritual. He finally understood why this is my go to book when I'm working on my mouth and loving those around me.

I don't think he'll ever forget the “fit” Mama threw yesterday, and I don't want him to forget. But I hope that he remembers that after a period of cooling off, that I came into his room and had him get on his knees with me to pray. I begged for forgiveness for how I said the things I said. I pleaded for mercy and grace not only from the Father but from my son. It's my prayer that the memory of Mama crying a prayer for the two of us will teach him the power of God's grace and a humble heart. So that takes us back to James 3:16-18, I want my speech to be pure. I want the words he hears come out of my mouth to be peace loving and kind and gentle. I want him to witness a Mama whose trying her best to be full of mercy and good deeds. I want him to know I'm sincere when I say I love all people. I want to be that Mama who is a peacemaker planting seeds of righteousness and peace.

I know that I will fail at times, but I want him to know that this life we've chosen as followers of Christ is not always an easy one. It's a daily battle with the Deceiver, who can so easily use our tongue for evil instead of good. I want him to watch me work out my salvation daily with fear and trembling, and I pray that he will see a humble heart bowed before our Father in heaven. I pray that God will grant me the strength and patience to set the example he needs from me. Above all I pray that he will see the need to do the same in his own life. The teen years are upon us early and he has his own struggles to fight. I pray that God will be with all of us as we work to raise our children to glorify and honor the Father in all things.

P.S. Schooling at home is hard and I think it's time for us to slow down a little bit for a while. Allow ourselves some room to work on character and home as well as the 3 R's. May God bless you and your family as you strive to bring Him honor and glory forever, Amen.

We Finished Our Third Year of Home Schooling.

Once again it seems that I am writing this entry at the end of the summer instead of the beginning. It amazes me just how quickly time flies and that it is now time to get ready for reviews and some FUN practice activities. But the real purpose for writing today is just how much I learned this year.

My little man, who is now almost as tall as me, did very well and learned what we had set out for him to learn plus some. Yet, it always amazes me just how much I learn during the school year. I learned more grammar this year than I ever have. We both enjoyed Analytical Grammar Jr. A definite set of rules for how to diagram a sentence is awesome! This math mind loves to have a formula and this program fit that bill. We’ll be starting their Middle School program this year, and I can’t wait to see just how much we learn about the process of writing a good paper. I learned that we enjoy doing scripture for handwriting practice and that we both remember more scripture when we’ve written it.

I also learned that we are not ready for any type of block scheduling. We both feel less stress and remember more taking a little from each subject each day rather than trying to absorb a whole course in 9 to 18 weeks. I’m so thankful I decided up front to keep Bible, math, and English going year round. I’ve had to accept the fact that we need a definite start time each day. It’s amazing just how easy it is to put off getting started for what seems like good reasons. I found out that even with a special ball chair my little man will still find ways to fall and make noises that irritate me and the migraine (Yes, the public school teacher in me still feels like a chair needs to sit on all four legs, and that fiddling with stuff means that he’s not listening.) I feel like I have made some great strides in this area though as long as what he’s holding doesn’t make a noise and he can repeat back to me what I said I can handle him holding something in his hands and not making direct eye contact. I’ve also learned that if he’s moving when he’s learning facts and spelling words his memory is better. Yes, I know that this would not work in a classroom full of kids, but it is a benefit to schooling at home.

I think to some degree I’ve figured out how he thinks which is one of my favorite things about teaching. It’s so neat to watch him process information and then share his interpretation of the facts. I totally enjoyed history, science, and reading for this very reason. His point of view has had me looking at things in a new way and I love it!.

We set some spiritual and developmental goals for him this year as well. It has been a great joy to watch him grow in faith this year. He has become more helpful and will see a need and fill it without being asked. Those goals were more important than any academic goal we had set for him. I know now that his faith is strong and that hard headed, stubbornness that can drive me crazy will serve him well through this life. He’s also learned how to do laundry and some basic cooking. Both of these have been useful to the two of us, and little man has found joy in doing for himself.

So where do we go from here? Lord willing, we’ll start and finish another school year, we’ll both grow in faith as we study our Bible lessons this year, I’ll learn to let go more, and he will become more of an independent learner. Prayerfully, we start each day seeking how we can glorify the Father in all we say and do.

Once again, if you know me, the what I say part is the one I struggle with. I am not super mom or super teacher. I make many mistakes. There are days when all I hear is the pain and I have to work extra hard to really listen to little man, to be patient and kind. I’m praying that as he watches me struggle to live a life pleasing to God through the pain that he will also learn that no matter what adversity there is with God as our guide all things are possible.

It’s now time for me to finish packing up this years work and get the next year’s plan in ink. I know we will have good and bad days, and it’s my prayer that I’ll recognize the bad day and take the time to turn it around. Sometimes that just means leaving the room for a few minutes, sometimes it means loading up and going for a ride, or it may mean we put some of school in a bag and go to the park to work for a while.

Finally, sweet friends, I ask that you pray for us as we get ready to hit these tween years and Mama is both Mama and teacher. I’ll be praying for all of you too. Whether you school at home or if your children are in public or private school, may God give us the desire and strength to parent intentionally. To consciously make decisions and choices that will lead our children closer to the Father. May He use our mistakes to help us teach our children about grace and love, and may He allow them to see Him in us…and that we can see Him in them.

When Mama Sings

I love how certain songs bring back specific memories. When I was growing up there were a couple of songs that Mama would sing at very specific times. Instead of an alarm clock waking us up in the morning, Mama would sing about the sunshine and happy faces. I have to say there were many mornings she didn’t have the happiest faces rolling out of bed. She would come through singing that song and we’d know it was time to get moving. There was no trouble IF (Don’t you just love the word if) we got moving. If she had to come through twice, we knew the next time her sunshine wouldn't last much longer. It was her way of giving us a heads up before we would get into trouble.

She did the same thing when we were fussing amongst ourselves except the song she sang was “Angry Words”. If she made it to the chorus after the third verse then she would reappear and take matters into her own hands. I have always loved how she gave us the that little time to fix what needed fixing before she came to move us to our separate corners. It was like the clock in a boxing match and the end of the song was the bell to end the match. There were times when Mama had to wade in like the Ref and put us where she wanted us. But on the whole, just hearing Love one another thus says the Savior, Children obey the Fathers blest command would stop us. Mama had found her way to teach us the lesson she wanted, reminded us that God was watching, and it was time to obey her.

She sang often and the examples above are memories that bring a smile now. I must admit that I hated hearing those songs as a kid, but today the love that she parented with comes back loud and clear.

My Favorite time to hear Mama sing was bedtime. As she rocked the babies to sleep, her sweet voice would carry through the house. Since I was the oldest, I can remember listening many nights from my bed and the sense of peace and comfort would come right along with the notes she sang as we fell to sleep to “Climb Up the Mountain”, “They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love”, and “Jesus Loves Me”. Those songs are engraved on my heart. When I hear them now, they bring a smile along with that peace and comfort and a little bit of longing for the next stage in life, because above all else Mama taught us “This World Is Not My Home”.

How blessed the four of us were to grow up in her home. Mama’s love for the Father and my Daddy came through in her every word and deed. It has always been my prayer to be able to provide for my family the rich blessings she provided and continues to provide.

Proverbs 31: 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:
NKJV

Dear Father, Please help us to find ways to create rich memories wrapped in your love for our children. Help us to reflect your love in all we do as mamas, wives, daughters, sisters, aunts, and friends. Forgive us when we fail and in all things help us to bring glory to your name. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Dear Son...I'm Praying for Your Future

Dear Son,

I know that right now you are more interested in playing with friends and food than anything else. But before I blink you’ll be driving, dating, and be in college. I've been praying for you and your future wife since you were a week old, and I want you to know that I will love the girl you bring home as wife. It is my prayer that she’s being raised by parents who love God above all else and that they are teaching her the value of purity just like Daddy and I are trying to teach you. You've already made the most important decision of your life by choosing to put on our Lord in baptism. I’m so pleased with what I see in your heart…your love for God and others makes me strive to live the way I’m supposed to. Your tender heart is beautiful and your ability to put smiles on my face and that of others is a wonderful gift. I love you but before you get much older, I thought it might interest you to know what’s in my heart.

The choices you make now will affect your entire life. Your choices of friends and the girls you give a piece of your heart to even now can determine whether or not you reach your goal of heaven. Please be careful with that tender heart, it will be broken at some point for that is the nature of this world. Prov 22:24-25 Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul. We laugh together when I warn you that girls are nothing but trouble. We both know how much fun you can have when you’re getting into trouble, so be careful. 2 Cor 6:13-14 Now in return for the same I speak as to children, you also be open. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? Remember you marry who you date, and you date those you choose to spend time with. God wants wonderful things for you and his plans for you are beautiful, so do your part and think before you act.
Pro 19:20-23 Listen to counsel and receive instruction, That you may be wise in your latter days.
There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the LORD's counsel--that will stand.
What is desired in a man is kindness, And a poor man is better than a liar.
The fear of the LORD [leads] to life, And [he who has it] will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil

I can only imagine that when you read this, the thought will cross your mind, “Yeah, like you have room to talk, Mama!” But it’s because I fell in love with Daddy when I was 14 that I do have room to talk for change. Go places where you will meet girls who will value your relationship with God. Look at their hearts and not only their pretty faces. Can you see the love of Christ shining in her? Does she care for others? How does she talk to her friends? Does she talk about the power of prayer and is she willing to stand up and share her love for the gospel with others? I see you already doing these things and I’m so proud of you! I’m praying you will find someone who will encourage you to do the work of the Father, that she will help you walk the straight and narrow.

I’m not naïve enough to think that temptation won’t ever come your way, because Daddy and I know just how hard it is to remain pure. I’m praying you date girls who you can enjoy being with but not have to fight lust and Satan the whole time you’re out.

Please before you give your heart away, visit with the young lady’s parents. Listen to how she talks to her parents, how they talk to her, and how they talk to each other. Your Daddy has been working to raise you to be a gentleman who stands up for what is right and good, and who places women in a place of honor. I can remember when Daddy would hold and rock you and tell you that he was going to raise you to be a loving, spiritual leader in your home if it killed the two of you. Be kind and gentle, yet firm. Lead without stepping on the girls you date, speak up when it’s right, and remain silent when you should. Walk the girl to the door, don’t sit out in the car or spend too long saying goodnight (trust me it’ll make your Christian walk easier…Daddy and I learned that lesson the hard way). If you’ll bring her home to visit, I promise not to tell the embarrassing stories or bring out the photo albums. I pray that I treat every girl you date with love and respect, and that even after you break up with her or she with you that I’ll not say anything bad about her…you just never know, you might fall for her again. (Read Eph. 5:22-6:5)

I pray that you choose a girl who encourages you to call me and Daddy. I pray that she will ask you to spend time with us and her together. Ask her the hard questions early. Remember that she will help determine if you enjoy time spent with family and friends. Know that you can’t change her anymore than she can change you. Make a list of pros and cons before you ask her to marry you. When you look at that list, pay close attention to the cons. Will you be able to spend a lifetime happily with her in spite of those things? Remember that once your married, you’ll both relax and say and do things that will hurt the other, and the cons list will be the arsenal she’ll pull from when you fight. (By the way, at some point I’ll encourage her to make a similar list and make the same choices.)

Remember when you marry her…you marry her family. Can you live with them and they with you? Does she ask you to pray for her? Do you study God’s word together? Do you talk about what heaven will be like and dream about it together? Above all, do you want to spend eternity with her and she with you? Is God the most important being in both your lives? Are you working together to serve the Father?

I know all of this doesn’t make sense today, but it will before I can blink. I’m praying for you and me. I’m praying you will be the husband God wants you to be and that I’ll be the mother-in-law He wants me to be. I’m praying you will find someone who you can open the secret parts of your heart with and she with you. Finally, I’m praying that the commitment you make is not done because you feel like you have to, but because you can’t imagine your life spent with anyone else. Remember two wrongs never make a right and that love is a decision you make not a feeling that comes and goes. I’m praying divorce is a word that you as a couple will remove from your vocabulary, and that you have awesome sex life in your marriage, the way God intends. Remember she can’t read your mind any more that you can read her‘s, so you must talk to each other. I pray that you remember that she needs to hear you say, “I love you”, “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world!”, and she needs your hugs. I pray that she knows her respect for you is the biggest “I love you and hug” she can give you, that she only says good things about you, and that she’ll know that love does not keep a record of wrongs.

OK, so I’ll close. I know that you’re used to me talking too much, but I just wanted you to know I love you and I want only God’s best plan for you…and that you will keep your heart open to His desire for your life.

Love you,
Mama

Run for a Mom 2012

I’ve been trying to put this blogg together for almost a year, but the emotions were just to close to the surface and finding the right words just didn’t come. Last year our family participated in Agape’s Run for a Mom. We started talking about, what if we can do this as a family, when the announcement came in Agape’s winter newsletter. With the headache, we never seem to put our plans in stone, but this time it was different. This time my little man spent a lot of time talking about the run and honoring his birthmother. So we put the day in stone and made the plans to be there. Little man picked out a picture of our forever family that included his birthmother (I think he chose that one because of the great memories and silly faces that were made the day the picture was taken.) We then went to find matching outfits for the big day. We had everything together our clothes, running shoes, 3 color copies of the picture, and my meds. If you hade asked me at 5 am that morning if I believed the day would be emotional, I would have said, “YES”, but in a joyful way.



It was joyful! We saw friends that we only see two or three times a year. We were all outside in the sun together, and we were ready to do the Fun Run. We were celebrating that my meds were doing their thing and that a sweet young lady had the courage and self-sacrificing love to place her sweet boy with us. But I have to say that as we stood in line for our packets, each of us got very quiet and the emotions began to become overwhelming. All of a sudden, little man was worried that he was going to hurt my feelings. (I promise we talked about this before hand and I’d reassured him I was excited about honoring his birthmother.) In the packet with our number, there was a place to write who you were running for. My sweet boy looked at me with his beautiful eyes and in them I saw the question, “Mama, are you sure this is okay?” So in answer, I took the marker and on my tag wrote his birthmother’s name. At that point he followed suit and the three of us pinned our picture and numbers to our shirts.



We cheered for the 5K runners as they left and came running back in. The joy on faces as they crossed the finish line was awesome. There were daddies carrying babies in back packs and many parents with strollers, and the celebration of families created by God still gives me goose bumps. We had a little time before the fun run to enjoy some bluegrass music, and then it was time for us to line up. We knew going into it that this Mama would not be running but I would be walking. My boys had planned to run it and then come back and finish it with me. I can’t begin to describe the love I felt waiting to start…you see my sweetheart had two names on his tag and that meant the world to me. He was celebrating me and little man’s birthmother, such a sweet moment. I went to the back of the pack because I knew I would get in the way of the other runners, and my boys were up at the front. I promise I walked that mile as fast as I could, and there were two mamas with strollers who were being sweet and going slower so I wouldn’t feel lonely. About halfway through, I could see two people running back towards me. There were my boys, who had already crossed the finish line, coming back to cross it with me. We were the last ones to finish, and there we were with one of them on each side of me. All I could do was cry and smile, my little man accepted my answer that Mama was just being silly and went off to play. My sweetheart knew my heart and tucked me under his arm and we went for some water.



I thank God every day for my sweet boy’s birthmother. The gift she gave us goes beyond words. The love that grew even deeper that day was awesome and God given. Over and over again, God has used my little man to stretch my heart and make it wider and deeper. I hope that my boys are learning the same thing. One lesson I’ve learned through adoption is while there may be no physical labor pains, there are emotional ones. I’m thankful for them because they’ve taught me many lessons. The most important lesson is don’t judge a heart based on how you would do things, but open your heart to others just like our Heavenly Father does.

Eph 3:14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, :15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, :16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, :17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, :18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, :19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. :20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, :21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

TEN!!!!

I’m sitting at home today by myself in the quiet (except for the roaring of the headache in my head) and I’m remembering the butterflies that filled my stomach in the days before October 8th ten years ago. I was scared, excited, and so full of what ifs. I can look back at those days now and grin and thank God for them. They where a part of my “birthing pains”. We had met with a beautiful young lady on two occasions and I knew she loved her baby with her whole heart, there was absolutely no question about that. She wanted a Mama and a Daddy for her baby in a secure home that would provide him with love and honor his Asian heritage. Who would have ever thought that all that dojo time would help us get our hearts desire? Our God works in awesome ways. I was so scared that once she saw that sweet boy she would change her mind, but her love for him was bigger than that. It was bigger than what would make her feel good, but so full and deep that her concern was for her sweet boy.
So, in the midst of her pain, she brought us JOY!! I want to shout that word from the mountain tops. Our lives had revolved around pain for 4 years…the pain of losing my sister and cousin and the ever present pain of the headache. When we got the phone call telling us our birthmother was in labor, it was as if a light had come on and the hope that had taken up residence in my heart began to glow a little stronger…yet we were still afraid to believe. You know how Sarah laughed when she heard the Lord tell Abraham that she would bear him a child in her old age…that wanting to believe yet not wanting your heart to be broken once again…that’s where we were. In fact, very few people knew that we were even in the process of adoption. We didn’t want anyone to have to grieve with us if this sweet girl decided to keep her baby. It took the social worker some time to convince us to call our parents and let them know that we would be bringing our boy home.
I’ve written about the time we spent pacing and waiting. It’s the joy I wanted to concentrate on today. You see when our sweet boy’s birthmother made the decision to place him in our forever family, she gave us the gift of JOY! My boy taught this pain filled lady how to laugh again and that we (my Sweetheart and me) could laugh even through the hurt. What a blessing he has been!!
So on Monday, he turns 10. He’s so excited to be turning the double digits, and yes, his eyes twinkle when he talks about it…and my sweetheart and I…well, we laugh. It’s wonderful, and I’m so thankful that he is strong and healthy and smart…and above all he’s growing spiritually. I know my boy is not perfect and we have lots of growing to do, but he has a tender heart and a love for the Father. He’s reaching the age where he says that’s not right and can tell me why, so we’re making progress and I’m thankful.
This turning 10 business is a little hard for me. He’s outgrown my lap a longtime ago, but he will still come snuggle. Mama can now embarrass him with things he used to laugh and clap over. So, I’m going to fasten my seatbelt and get ready cause here we come tweens and teens.

Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to love this child. Help me to meet his needs, and help me to let your love shine through me. Help me to have the wisdom to know which battles to fight and which ones to let slide. Grant me patience when the day gets long and he pushes my buttons, and give me strength to discipline the way you want me to in a consistent manner. Thank you for his birthmother and the choice she made. Give her comfort and peace as only you can. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

A Letter to My Future Daughter In Law

This is a blog I've had written for almost 2 weeks on paper, but with the crazziness of the end of school and the special plans surrounding Mother's Day and Gotcha Day...I'm only just getting this typed up. I'll have more to come next week about Mother's Day and Gotcha Day celebrations this year. Right now, it's all so close to my heart it's just hard to share.


Our family has had some pretty big birthday's this year, and they are all reminding me that before I can even blink my precious boy will be driving, then graduating from high school, and then college, and Marriage. OK, so I'm getting a head of myself, but he does turn 10 this October, and I know that my time with him is limited. So I thought I would share with you some of what goes on in my head when the headache doesn't allow me to sleep.


To My Future Daughter-in-Law,


This has been my favorite time of year with Mother’s Day and Gotcha Day so close together. I’ve been praying for you since Samuel came home from the hospital with us, and for your parents too!


My prayer has been and will continue to be that you are being raised in a home where God comes first, that you’re learning about God’s plan for marriage by watching your mama and daddy, and that you have a love for others and doing what’s right. We’re working hard to raise a Godly gentleman. A man who stands strong in his convictions, yet has a tender heart easily touched by the needs of others, along with the desire to serve God in all things.


He’s a perfectionist and stubborn (just like his daddy). Those are traits that will make you proud at times and crazy at others. Lord willing, you will have a husband who will open your doors, hold your hand, and above all lead your family to heaven.


At the time of this writing, your future husband is an only child. As a family, we have longed to have it grow and you just may be the answer to that prayer. I know there is no one like mama, but I hope to call you daughter. You see, I’ve been praying for me too. It’s my prayer, you’ll look forward to seeing me, that God will give me the words to encourage and not to tear down. I hope that when something’s not going like you think it should that you’ll tell me so I can get out of the way, or better yet put me to work to help like I should. I won’t want to step into places not wanted, but I want to help and be busy as much as I can.


I pray that you’ll accept a piece of my heart and hope that you’ll be able to share your’s with me too. I’m praying that God blesses you with children and that you’ll give me the opportunity to be grandmamma too. To help shape and mold more precious souls will be better than treasure untold.


I’m praying that as you approach the teen years that you’ll guard your soul from all sexual sin. I know that it’s hard, but with God’s help I know you can do it! We’ll be encouraging that same behavior from your future husband as well.


Much love to the future daughter of my heart,
Mama Moore


Pro 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.

I'm Painting Souls Today

I’m Painting Souls Today

Help me hold the paint brush Lord
I’m painting souls today.
The snuggles of this precious babe
Are the soft sweet colors that make the light shine
On this precious piece of art that you've made mine.

Help me choose the colors Lord
To show this toddler of mine
That while he wants to paint in reds and dominate this time,
Give me words that form bold straight lines,
So he can know what I expect.

Help me choose the tools Lord
That scrape away the stains.
Father guide me as I choose which traits,
To help make the way more clear,
This little boy is changing fast and needs me as a guide.

Help me choose the colors Lord
To paint this gangly youth.
Once again he wants to paint in reds as he stubbornly holds the line.
Guide me with sweet words of wisdom
That a sunset we can paint.

Help me hold the paint brush Lord
I’m painting souls today.
The wee babe I painted in gentle hues has almost become a man.
Father guide my hand as I paint the lines,
May they be bold and straight and softened by your love.

Father my part is almost through,
The painting of this precious soul will soon be his to do.
Help the foundation colors and the lines I’ve helped to form,
Become the portrait you desire to see as he grows up and leaves.
Father may he reflect the light of all your love and glory.

I know that God is the creator of souls and the choices that we make determine who we reflect. Do we show Christ to the world or do we show it’s evil? As Mamas, God has given us the task to train and raise our children.
Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Eph 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
God is the Master Painter…the Master Designer and we need to open our hearts and engage our children so that they may be open to the plans of the Master Designer.
Isa. 64:8 But now, O LORD, You [are] our Father; We [are] the clay, and You our potter; And all we [are] the work of Your hand.
Rom 9:20 But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed [it], "Why have you made me like this?" :21 Does not the potter have power over the clay, from the same lump to make

Father, please be with us as mamas and help us to say and do those things that will bring our children to you.
Samantha Moore

What does God look like?

I've been wanting to sit down and write for so long and I've had many things I've wanted to share, but once again the headache has been my enemy. So the following is something that I've been working on for a while and I'm finally ready to share it. Someday, I hope to put it in book form and at least read it to my grandbabies. I've been house bound for most of the winter and I'm praying that God will take this mean ol' thing away, but if it must be endured I pray it will at least let me attend worship services, Lads to Leaders convention, and some baseball games. We covet your prayers! Our family lives with the headache and we each have things we don't enjoy because of it. I love hearing my sweet boy pray for it to go away every night, and we've learned many lessons from it. But we'd love a "YES" here and now instead of later. God sees the big picture and holds the blueprints for our home, so we will wait in faith for his answer. Now that I've done my usual ramble here's the reason I'm posting tonight.

What Does God Look Like?

“Mama, what does God look like?“ Asked the sweetest pair of big brown eyes.
Well I’d have to say He looks like love.
But Mama I can’t see love, so I can’t see God.
“Hmm, my sweet boy, let’s sit and think…Do I love you?
Oh, silly Mama, of course you do!
Ok, precious you know I love you, but just how do you see that love?

When I’ve been running and I trip and fall, your sugars fix it all. You clean it all up, and put on the bandaid, and then you hug me and say it’ll be okay.

Very good, my little man, are there other ways to know I love you?
You fix me my food and bring home my favorite snacks.

You make sure to clear the monsters from under the bed and out of the closet after prayers are said.
I think you’ve got the idea now… love and God are not people to “see”, but I know they are just as real as you and me.

God’s love is so great that it covers us up…just like when you have a nightmare and snuggle in with us. He makes sure we’re safe and holds us close to his heart. He kisses away all the tears and our fears.

His love for us is so very special because He shared His son to bear all our troubles. He sent Jesus so that one special day, we can go live with Him in His mansion in heaven.

God’s love is so great there’s nothing you can ever do to separate yourself from the one who made you. If you ever think you’ve done something to cause Him to leave, just tell Him your sorry and He’ll forgive you, just like Mama and Daddy do.

Mama, just how big is God’s love…does He have enough to share with us all? My sweet boy his love is wide and so tall, so long and so deep it will never run out. His love is like the ocean when we go to the beach…it seems to go on and on without any end.

God’s love is so great that He wants you to be safe forever and always, so He sent His son Jesus to live here on earth. To teach us to love and to serve others and Him.

But Mama, I was listening to what the preacher said today…He said they killed Jesus and He was raised again. He lives in Heaven with God once more.

Those sweet little eyes were overflowing with tears, you see he’d been listening even closer still. Mama, he cried, I want to be safe…I want to go to heaven and I want to be His!

Now tears are pouring down a pair of faces, and he buries his face in my neck, and I promise him that he is safe that little children have nothing to worry about. God’s love surrounds you and He won’t go away.

But Mama, I love Him and I’ve been telling my friends, can’t I get baptized just like you! Sweet boy, when you can tell me His plan for you and what you must do, to tell me what sins you need forgiven too…I promise you that special day, your daddy will take your hand in his and ask you the question that will change your life. Then on that day, you’ll see God’s love as you never seen it before…and you’ll want to share Him now even more.

But the very best part of God’s love is knowing from that moment on you’re not ever alone, and your best friend Jesus is always going to be there to help you through the hardest of times here. He’ll keep your soul safe, if you’ll let him lead…like walking in daddy’s footprints at the beach.

A Tender Heart

I’m so thankful for the gift God gave me in my sweet boy! Since the last time I updated my blog my baby has become my brother in Christ. His sweet heart broke in the telling us of his need for baptism, and the hour long discussion he had with daddy to insure that he knew the why and need for baptism touched me more deeply than just about anything since we brought him home. One of my sweet red heads was also baptized that day, so my heart was so full of joy that at first there were no words. (I know sweet friends that that is hard to believe.) We were blessed with both sets of grands and Aunt Nancy getting to come in for his rebirth. I love knowing that I’m part of a family that will make an hour and a half drive one way to see my sweet boy start a new part of his life. I’m thankful that both sets of Grand’s now strive to walk daily with the Father and that my boy has their example. I’m also very thankful for the precious men (and their wives) who care for our souls at church and that they and a few other precious folks took their Friday night and came to witness his rebirth and celebrate with us.

I am one very blessed lady! Over and over again, God shows me His grace and mercy through the tender heart of my son. He and I have ridden an emotional roller coaster today, and it’s a ride I’m thankful to have ridden with him. One of the first things, I saw this morning when checking my FB page was a picture of a sweet baby boy with the caption “Forever Family”. Since this is a topic so dear to my heart, I took the time to follow the link. My boy came up behind me and saw the picture and asked who the baby was (we have many friends with brand new little ones right now). I told him I didn’t know who this baby was but that he needed a forever family. I took the time to point out (with tears in my eyes) that this sweet baby is missing one arm and one foot with some other possible physical problems. The adoption agency has no one who is already on their list ready to adopt a child with his special needs. My sweet boy said, “Mama, I know where he has a forever family! I’ll help take care of him and he can sleep in my bed.” My Mama’s heart was so full with his immediate acceptance and desire to care and love for this baby. I had to make myself have the very serious talk that IF (God were to choose us for his forever family) that this new baby would need lots of help and love and very possibly in the future if mama and daddy weren’t able to take care of this little one as an adult, my sweet boy would be the caretaker. I know that this is a lot to talk with a 9 year old about, but he quickly said I’ll take care of him if he’s my brother. So, I’ve e-mailed the agency and we’ll wait to hear something. It’s possible that he may already have a home.

After lunch, my sweet boy said, “ I could have a brother!” , as he was grinning ear to ear. I quickly told him we have to be careful, to not get excited, we just may not be the answer for this sweet wee one. My boy’s precious heart broke. He cried and cried and climbed into my lap and cried some more. I’m so thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit that comes with salvation. I was able to tell my baby that when we don’t know just what to say the Holy Spirit says it for us. Even when we want something so much and don’t begin to know how to ask, the Holy Spirit takes what is in our hearts and presents it to the Father. We took this time to remember the three answers that God gives us: Yes, No, and Wait. We talked about the times we’ve gotten a yes, a no, and a wait and have seen the results of God’s answers in our lives.

I thought for a moment that we were through the worst and could get back to school, but he began to cry again. His heart still breaking for the wanting of a brother. It’s so hard for me to talk about more children because I LONG for more but know that God has the perfect plan. So, I told him one of my favorite poems, “Footprints In The Sand”. We talked of how God is not some far away being, but He’s with us all the time, and that through the Holy Spirit we receive strength and comfort. What comfort there is in knowing that during the hard times, the Father carries us! His sweet heart and eyes filled with tears yet again, and my sweet boy still sprawled on my lap (he is getting almost as tall as I am) snuggled his sweet head into my neck, and we allowed our hearts to pray in our silence. I know we were praying for the baby and for the new treatment plan for the headache that might make it possible for us to adopt again, and I prayed for God to help us with whatever His decision is for our lives.

My sweet boy has taught me how to love and open my heart in ways I didn’t know I could! I’m so thankful he is mine to love and have the privilege of watching him grow. So once again my sweet friends, I’m drinking from the saucer because my cup overflows!!

Mat 19:14 But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
Jam 1:27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, [and] to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

A Time of Storing Memories

As the days fly by and the seasons change, we are given the privilege of watching our babies grow. To be able to see all the little changes from day to day and the big changes that seem to all most happen overnight. My baby will be nine in one month and I’m so thankful for how God has worked our family, so that, even when we thought our world was crumbling He was providing us the opportunities to raise our baby the way we want to.
I recently came across Luke chapter 2 again. I know I’ve read this chapter many times over but something jumped out at me a little differently this time. The chapter deals with the Christ's birth and the two times we are allowed to see Jesus taken to the temple to worship. At the time of his circumcision and as a pre-teen who scared his mama and daddy and stayed in Jerusalem listening and talking to the teachers. I guess I have always gotten caught up in the end of the chapter, but this time it was the middle that caught my attention.
God introduces us to two very faithful, hardworking Jews: Simeon and Anna. They were both well advanced in age and were awaiting the arrival of the Messiah.
Beginning in Luke 2:25, we get the background that Simeon had been waiting for Christ to come and had been promised that he would see Him. When Joseph and Mary brought Jesus to the temple the Holy Spirit had Simeon there and waiting.
Luke 2:27 So he came by the Spirit into the temple. And when the parents brought in the Child Jesus, to do for Him according to the custom of the law, :28 he took Him up in his arms and blessed God and said :29 "Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace, According to Your word; :30 For my eyes have seen Your salvation :31 Which You have prepared before the face of all peoples, :32 A light to [bring] revelation to the Gentiles, And the glory of Your people Israel.":33 And Joseph and His mother [fn] marveled at those things which were spoken of Him.
I love the part where we’re told that His parents marveled at the things that were being spoken. It seems as new parents, we marvel at every little detail and we store those memories up. Here was God saying, this is My son and He will do wonderful things. As mamas, we love to hear sweet precious words spoken to our children, but sometimes there are moments that just stand out in the haze of sleepless nights and dirty diapers. For Joseph and Mary this was one of those times. In Luke 2:34-35, Simeon goes on to tell Mary that her baby is destined to be the rise and fall of many in Israel and that a sword will pierce her soul, so that the hearts of many may be revealed. I think about this and know that this had to be one of those moments that she hid away in her heart.
Then God introduces us to a woman of great faith, she was widowed early and spent the rest of her life serving in the temple and was known to be a prophetess, and she comes in as Simeon is blessing Jesus and she gives God praise for allowing her to see the Messiah. And speaks of Him to all who are interested in redemption. It is after all of this takes place that Joseph and Mary go home and spend 12 years raising Jesus.
Her mama’s heart must have been full on that trip home, recounting the things that were said that day and all that had led up to His birth. She knew she was raising God’s son and that he had a job to do. But she also dealt with him as a toddler, a little boy, and what seems to be a very precocious preteen. Luke 2:40 And the Child grew and became strong in spirit, [fn] filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.
Luke 2:41-52, gives us the account of the family traveling to Jerusalem for the Passover Feast, and how Jesus stays behind to listen and question the teachers in the temple. Can you imagine just how scared His mama and daddy had to be. (I know when mine just barely gets out of eye shot I go nuts). I know I wouldn’t have been sure which I would have wanted to do first: hug and kiss Him, or beat Him for worrying me. When they ask him what he thought he was doing scaring them this way, he answered Luke 2:49 And He said to them, "Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father's business?" We’re told in the next verse that they didn’t understand his statement. I can only imagine that as we get caught up in the day to day routine of parenting that His beginning could have felt surreal enough for them to not understand that He was talking about His Father’s business, not his daddy’s. I can get that and I think that it would be very easy to do. I mean do we get so busy with school, ball, Scouts, play dates, clean rooms, and the daily grind that we forget to show our babies how to be about the Father’s business.
Luke 2:51 Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart.
This is one of my favorite verses. She kept all these things in her heart. Can you only imagine that as he left carpentry and began His ministry that she didn’t look back on the things that Simeon and Anna said the first time they took Him to the temple. As she watched Him suffer and die on the cross, don’t you think that the words of Simeon came back to her “ a sword shall pierce your soul”. I can’t begin to imagine the torture in her soul as she watched her Baby die for a crowd shouting for His death, and knowing that He was their salvation. I would have wanted to scratch and tear the eyes out of those who spoke so cruelly as He suffered. Maybe, it was the store house of memories that helped her through it. Surely, His placing her in John’s care would have offered some comfort, but I would have wanted to yell and scream, weep and wail at the injustice of it all. Yet, she played the part God gave her. She, as a virgin, delivered the Messiah to a world in desperate need of Him, and just as the prophets spoke of His birth, they also foretold his death.
Let’s take the time to store up memories in our hearts as we watch our babies grow. Let’s feed them the word of God and help them to drink the water of service, and let’s prepare them for a world that will wound them and so in turn wound us. Let’s listen to their sweet voices as they share their dreams with us. Let’s pray and hold fast to the knowledge that with Christ’s help they WILL overcome the trials and tribulations of this world. Let’s train them to live each day as if it were there last and each moment a gift so precious that it’s a sin to waste them. May we train our babies to look for the good in others and to stand firm in the faith. I know if we do our jobs and our babies do theirs then this life is just an intermission in eternity and whether we are granted the opportunity to watch them grow old and have children of their own, or they leave this world before us…We CAN KNOW that we WILL spend eternity with them. So store up those memories, the ones others give us to hold onto about our babies, and the words they speak to us. We never know when those things that we hide away in our hearts will be what sees us through this life to the next.
May God bless us as we raise our babies and may He help us see clearly the things we need to do and say.

The Last Battle

From The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis: And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Greatest Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.
I have loved reading the Chronicles of Narnia series with my boy this year. It's been a wonderful journey and I'm sorry to see it come to an end. It has spurred many wonderful discussions on how Aslan is so much like Christ, and the characters in the book so like many of our Bible heroes. He put into beautiful language some of the hardest things for us to grasp as adults. He made it possible to share the pain of the cross and the joy of the resurrection when Aslan took on the sins of Edmund. He taught us the importance of truth and humility in Eustace. He showed us the struggle one has within to do right and to truly repent in the sweet, pure heart of Lucy. He showed us that truth is always worth fighting for and how easily we can get caught up in the lies of this world. He showed us the beauty of forgiveness every time one of the characters disappointed Aslan and the mercy and love he showered on then when they turned back to him. He showed us the ugliness of sin in the White Witch and Tash. And finally in this last book, he showed us the joy that will come when our life here is over and we have the chance to enter Heaven. His words brought tears to my eyes and Samuel's. My little man doesn't quit understand that my tears were of joy and not at the loss of our friends at the end of the series. My tears of joy were shed because Mr. Lewis knew just the way to put into words what heaven will be like so that my "upper elementary school child" could picture what the apostle John wrote in Revelations. Heaven will be a place with no pain or tears, no worry or fears, and no hunger or thirst. It will be a place without time, but filled with all the good and precious "things" of this world.
If you haven’t ever read the Chronicles of Narnia, I highly recommend you do it. Read it as a family. My little man and I have enjoyed our time snuggled up on the couch together. He’s read the voices of some of his favorite characters, and I’ve had the opportunity to emphasize how to read with feeling and how to use punctuation for dramatic ques. It opens the door to wonderful discussions, and has allowed me to see just how close he may be to obeying the gospel. I loved how Aslan called the characters, Beloved and Dear One. Mr. Lewis’s ability to show the fear that comes with disobedience, and the strength and love that comes with repentance. There are so many other wonderful lessons that can be drawn from this series, and I would definitely start off by reading The Magician’s Nephew first, after all that is how the author wanted it to be done, even though it was the last book he wrote in the series. It makes The Last Battle even more meaningful. I hope you choose to snuggle up with your little one(s) and share the adventures into Narnia together, and if you’re an adult who has never read the series, it’s definitely worth your time. May God bless you richly and may we dream of heaven and the joy that awaits us there!