Dear Son...I'm Praying for Your Future

Dear Son,

I know that right now you are more interested in playing with friends and food than anything else. But before I blink you’ll be driving, dating, and be in college. I've been praying for you and your future wife since you were a week old, and I want you to know that I will love the girl you bring home as wife. It is my prayer that she’s being raised by parents who love God above all else and that they are teaching her the value of purity just like Daddy and I are trying to teach you. You've already made the most important decision of your life by choosing to put on our Lord in baptism. I’m so pleased with what I see in your heart…your love for God and others makes me strive to live the way I’m supposed to. Your tender heart is beautiful and your ability to put smiles on my face and that of others is a wonderful gift. I love you but before you get much older, I thought it might interest you to know what’s in my heart.

The choices you make now will affect your entire life. Your choices of friends and the girls you give a piece of your heart to even now can determine whether or not you reach your goal of heaven. Please be careful with that tender heart, it will be broken at some point for that is the nature of this world. Prov 22:24-25 Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul. We laugh together when I warn you that girls are nothing but trouble. We both know how much fun you can have when you’re getting into trouble, so be careful. 2 Cor 6:13-14 Now in return for the same I speak as to children, you also be open. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? Remember you marry who you date, and you date those you choose to spend time with. God wants wonderful things for you and his plans for you are beautiful, so do your part and think before you act.
Pro 19:20-23 Listen to counsel and receive instruction, That you may be wise in your latter days.
There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the LORD's counsel--that will stand.
What is desired in a man is kindness, And a poor man is better than a liar.
The fear of the LORD [leads] to life, And [he who has it] will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil

I can only imagine that when you read this, the thought will cross your mind, “Yeah, like you have room to talk, Mama!” But it’s because I fell in love with Daddy when I was 14 that I do have room to talk for change. Go places where you will meet girls who will value your relationship with God. Look at their hearts and not only their pretty faces. Can you see the love of Christ shining in her? Does she care for others? How does she talk to her friends? Does she talk about the power of prayer and is she willing to stand up and share her love for the gospel with others? I see you already doing these things and I’m so proud of you! I’m praying you will find someone who will encourage you to do the work of the Father, that she will help you walk the straight and narrow.

I’m not naïve enough to think that temptation won’t ever come your way, because Daddy and I know just how hard it is to remain pure. I’m praying you date girls who you can enjoy being with but not have to fight lust and Satan the whole time you’re out.

Please before you give your heart away, visit with the young lady’s parents. Listen to how she talks to her parents, how they talk to her, and how they talk to each other. Your Daddy has been working to raise you to be a gentleman who stands up for what is right and good, and who places women in a place of honor. I can remember when Daddy would hold and rock you and tell you that he was going to raise you to be a loving, spiritual leader in your home if it killed the two of you. Be kind and gentle, yet firm. Lead without stepping on the girls you date, speak up when it’s right, and remain silent when you should. Walk the girl to the door, don’t sit out in the car or spend too long saying goodnight (trust me it’ll make your Christian walk easier…Daddy and I learned that lesson the hard way). If you’ll bring her home to visit, I promise not to tell the embarrassing stories or bring out the photo albums. I pray that I treat every girl you date with love and respect, and that even after you break up with her or she with you that I’ll not say anything bad about her…you just never know, you might fall for her again. (Read Eph. 5:22-6:5)

I pray that you choose a girl who encourages you to call me and Daddy. I pray that she will ask you to spend time with us and her together. Ask her the hard questions early. Remember that she will help determine if you enjoy time spent with family and friends. Know that you can’t change her anymore than she can change you. Make a list of pros and cons before you ask her to marry you. When you look at that list, pay close attention to the cons. Will you be able to spend a lifetime happily with her in spite of those things? Remember that once your married, you’ll both relax and say and do things that will hurt the other, and the cons list will be the arsenal she’ll pull from when you fight. (By the way, at some point I’ll encourage her to make a similar list and make the same choices.)

Remember when you marry her…you marry her family. Can you live with them and they with you? Does she ask you to pray for her? Do you study God’s word together? Do you talk about what heaven will be like and dream about it together? Above all, do you want to spend eternity with her and she with you? Is God the most important being in both your lives? Are you working together to serve the Father?

I know all of this doesn’t make sense today, but it will before I can blink. I’m praying for you and me. I’m praying you will be the husband God wants you to be and that I’ll be the mother-in-law He wants me to be. I’m praying you will find someone who you can open the secret parts of your heart with and she with you. Finally, I’m praying that the commitment you make is not done because you feel like you have to, but because you can’t imagine your life spent with anyone else. Remember two wrongs never make a right and that love is a decision you make not a feeling that comes and goes. I’m praying divorce is a word that you as a couple will remove from your vocabulary, and that you have awesome sex life in your marriage, the way God intends. Remember she can’t read your mind any more that you can read her‘s, so you must talk to each other. I pray that you remember that she needs to hear you say, “I love you”, “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world!”, and she needs your hugs. I pray that she knows her respect for you is the biggest “I love you and hug” she can give you, that she only says good things about you, and that she’ll know that love does not keep a record of wrongs.

OK, so I’ll close. I know that you’re used to me talking too much, but I just wanted you to know I love you and I want only God’s best plan for you…and that you will keep your heart open to His desire for your life.

Love you,
Mama

Trying New Things

I 'm so excited to come across a wonderful new opprotunity. I'm learning slowly how to join blog hops and this will be one of my first link ups. It deals with thankfulness and I must confess that many days that is something that I really have to work on.

The beauty of thankfulness is that it is a choice we make. We can choose to look at life through rose tinted glasses and not those of blue and grey. Those blue and grey glasses not only bring us down but those we come in contact with. I have to admit that many days like today, when it's the headache that woke me up and not the singing of birds outside my window, that I find it difficult not to complain. In fact, I recognize that is exactly what I'm doing now...smh. I can turn this day around through prayer, study, and determination. Those I come in contact with today don't have to know just how bad I'm hurting and in the process I feel better along the way.

Psa 100:4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
:5 For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.

So here's the deal do I choose to be thankful and count my blessings and recognize God's active work in my life, or I am going to start this day counting my blessings. It's our choice what we do with this day, may we all choose to share God's love and joy with those we come in contact with and not pass along the blues and troubles that Satan wants to weigh us down with.

One of the things I'm most thankful for is my little brother and his family are headed to Mama's this week, and Lord willing that means Aunt Sam will get the chance to build memories that will last a lifetime for them and me. As a part of their visit, we'll be headed towards the beach. It's one of my absolute favorite places and I love watching the sun come up and go down. Our heavenly Father is the master painter and His artwork displays the richness of His love for us and the power He has to hold back the waves as the crash upon the shore line. I thought I'd share with you this morning how my little man used to hunt sea shells and how it's my prayer that God will take my life (a worn broken shell) and through the glory of His son make me a treasure that His son's love shines through.

We recently spent time at the beach. It's one of my favorite places to go. I love to feel the wind on my face, the salt spray in my hair, and the powerful sound of the waves as they come in and hit the shore. My favorite time of the year to go is late fall and winter when all you see are the "Snow birds", the sea gulls, and the locals. I love the beauty of God's artwork every morning and evening when He displays the sunrise and sunset, but my most favorite thing to do is walk holding hands with my sweetheart while little man runs in front of "trying" to stay dry. We've gotten in the habit of carrying something with us to store his "treasures" in. I'm always looking for that perfect shell. You know the one that's just the right size,shape and color. As I find what I think is a perfect shell, I'll show it to little man and he says, "Oh that's nice", and then runs back to where he was looking for his shells.
little man's idea of a perfect shell is totally different from mine. He loves to find the broken shells that time on the shore and the waves rolling in have made shiny with time and almost transparent. Those seem to be his favorite. The ones that time has broken into interesting shapes and that once you dust all the sand off of them and hold them up to the sun you can see the light through.
This got me to thinking about God's love for us. I'm so thankful that He looks for "shells" like little man does and not the way I do. I'm thankful that God picks us up seeing that we're broken and covered in sand worn by life's struggles, and He dusts us off, holds us up to the light of His son, and decides to keep us because to him even with all the broken pieces it's the light of His son shining through us that makes us beautiful and worth keeping. He's not looking for that perfect shell because He finds the real beauty in the shell that has been worn by time and experience and allows the light of His son to shine through it.

Maid Servants of Christ | Hungry Bellies and Hungry Souls

Maid Servants of Christ | Hungry Bellies and Hungry Souls
Check out Helene's article on hungry bellies and souls what a great reminder of how we should be looking after our neighbors.

Run for a Mom 2012

I’ve been trying to put this blogg together for almost a year, but the emotions were just to close to the surface and finding the right words just didn’t come. Last year our family participated in Agape’s Run for a Mom. We started talking about, what if we can do this as a family, when the announcement came in Agape’s winter newsletter. With the headache, we never seem to put our plans in stone, but this time it was different. This time my little man spent a lot of time talking about the run and honoring his birthmother. So we put the day in stone and made the plans to be there. Little man picked out a picture of our forever family that included his birthmother (I think he chose that one because of the great memories and silly faces that were made the day the picture was taken.) We then went to find matching outfits for the big day. We had everything together our clothes, running shoes, 3 color copies of the picture, and my meds. If you hade asked me at 5 am that morning if I believed the day would be emotional, I would have said, “YES”, but in a joyful way.



It was joyful! We saw friends that we only see two or three times a year. We were all outside in the sun together, and we were ready to do the Fun Run. We were celebrating that my meds were doing their thing and that a sweet young lady had the courage and self-sacrificing love to place her sweet boy with us. But I have to say that as we stood in line for our packets, each of us got very quiet and the emotions began to become overwhelming. All of a sudden, little man was worried that he was going to hurt my feelings. (I promise we talked about this before hand and I’d reassured him I was excited about honoring his birthmother.) In the packet with our number, there was a place to write who you were running for. My sweet boy looked at me with his beautiful eyes and in them I saw the question, “Mama, are you sure this is okay?” So in answer, I took the marker and on my tag wrote his birthmother’s name. At that point he followed suit and the three of us pinned our picture and numbers to our shirts.



We cheered for the 5K runners as they left and came running back in. The joy on faces as they crossed the finish line was awesome. There were daddies carrying babies in back packs and many parents with strollers, and the celebration of families created by God still gives me goose bumps. We had a little time before the fun run to enjoy some bluegrass music, and then it was time for us to line up. We knew going into it that this Mama would not be running but I would be walking. My boys had planned to run it and then come back and finish it with me. I can’t begin to describe the love I felt waiting to start…you see my sweetheart had two names on his tag and that meant the world to me. He was celebrating me and little man’s birthmother, such a sweet moment. I went to the back of the pack because I knew I would get in the way of the other runners, and my boys were up at the front. I promise I walked that mile as fast as I could, and there were two mamas with strollers who were being sweet and going slower so I wouldn’t feel lonely. About halfway through, I could see two people running back towards me. There were my boys, who had already crossed the finish line, coming back to cross it with me. We were the last ones to finish, and there we were with one of them on each side of me. All I could do was cry and smile, my little man accepted my answer that Mama was just being silly and went off to play. My sweetheart knew my heart and tucked me under his arm and we went for some water.



I thank God every day for my sweet boy’s birthmother. The gift she gave us goes beyond words. The love that grew even deeper that day was awesome and God given. Over and over again, God has used my little man to stretch my heart and make it wider and deeper. I hope that my boys are learning the same thing. One lesson I’ve learned through adoption is while there may be no physical labor pains, there are emotional ones. I’m thankful for them because they’ve taught me many lessons. The most important lesson is don’t judge a heart based on how you would do things, but open your heart to others just like our Heavenly Father does.

Eph 3:14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, :15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, :16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, :17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, :18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, :19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. :20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, :21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Mustard Seed

Matt. 13:31-32 He gave them another parable, saying, Heaven's kingdom is like a seed of mustard, which a man took and sowed in his field. It indeed is the smallest of all seeds, but when it is grown, it is the greatest of the garden- plants, and becomes a tree, so that even the birds of heaven nest in its branches.

I've been thinking about this verse over and over since Wed. night Bible study...The small things we do that allow Christ to shine through us are like that seed. When we talk about Christ and his love for us and for others...we plant the seed. We'll never know how big the tree will grow and how many birds will find rest in its branches, but we'll have done our part. It's not about having an orchard with our name on it, it's about planting the gospel in fertile ground and giving the tiniest of seeds time to grow and become the big tree where the birds of heaven will build their nest. Isn't it awesome?! To consider that our decision to put on our happy face even in the midst of pain and sorrow just may be what is needed for someone else to see the gospel alive and at work.

2 Cor. 12:9-10 but he told me, “My grace is enough for you, because strength reaches completion in weakness.” I will therefore boast in my weaknesses most gladly, so that Christ’s strength will remain upon me. For this reason I am content in my weaknesses, in insults, in necessities, in persecutions and troubles, for Christ’s sake; because I am strong when I am weak.

It’s amazing that once we realize we must take ourselves out of the picture and give God the room to take total control.

Come on, I know what you’re thinking I’ve given my life to Christ and He has control. My response to that in general is “Really?!” I can’t count how often I’ve made that claim and then find myself trying to take care of all my business plus all those around me. Guess what??….You will stay tired and worn, you’ll begin to wonder where God is. I mean didn’t He promise that if I followed Him His yoke would be light??

Matt. 11:28-30 Come to me, all of you who are struggling and are yet burdened, and I will refresh you. Take my yoke and learn from me, because I am gentle and lowly in heart. You will find refreshment for your souls, for my yoke is pleasant and my load is light.

When we really allow God to take control, it means we’ve given up ALL control. Please don’t misunderstand me, God expects us, to study and pray to know what the Bible says about how to live for Him. But, when we do those things and we quit trying to micromanage our lives and those of the ones we love... God will provide a way. It may not be easy, it definitely may not be the way we imagined, but He will provide. Once we are able to release the stress of trying to control all of the details, then we find the absolute joy in living for Christ. We know our basic NEEDS will be met and we become a vessel for God to use to share the word.

So, where does that leave me today? How can I be a mustard seed planter? How can God use me as a mustard seed? 1) I allow those around me to see that I have an inner joy and peace that gets me through even the hardest days. It allows me to speak kindly even with a level 10 headache, It means I allow someone with more items to go in front of me even when all I want to do is go home and hide under my bed. 2) It means I talk about God’s love for me and mine for Him. I share how He gets me through each day, and the wonderful power of prayer. 3) I not only talk the talk, but I walk the walk. If my life doesn’t measure up to what I have to say, then I need to keep my mouth shut because I can hurt more than I help.

I know that we could keep this list going and going. It is both hard and beautiful when we work to empty or lives of self and fill it up with God. My prayer today, is that God will help us to let Him have the reigns and in the doing discover the peace that passes all understanding.

The Headache and My Tongue

I’ve been wanting to share some more of my headache journey because we’ve really had to struggle with it again as a family. I’ve been waiting to do it because I’ve been hoping that time would offer a better perspective and I think it has some. The hard part is where to start because “WOW”!! is really all that comes to mind when I begin looking at the gradual changes.

If you know me well, then you know we did a major med change in April because the pain was just getting to be unbearable. I wasn’t able to get out much and I was on some pretty powerful meds and it just didn’t seem to be worth it. We were back to a point where we were looking at quality of life versus possible side effects etc. We’d made the decision it was time to take a step back in time and try a med that had made life much better for me and even allowed us to adopt our precious boy. We just knew we’d have to watch for calcium levels etc.

Long story short the doctor agreed with us and also asked us to try a sister drug to Topamax. I’ve talked about what we went through with it before, so we were hesitant but the doctor assured us that this was like Topamax lite and it had fewer behavioral and cognitive side effects. So fast forward to mid October and I start feeling grouchy and I’m fussing about little things, crying at the drop of a hat, or just plain feeling angry out of nowhere. Now every Mama knows that sometimes we just have bad days or weeks, and kids know which buttons to push so I tried to just shake some of it off. I mean I am 41 so YAY!! Hormones, right?!!

Well, by the beginning of November, it wasn’t just the emotions I was fighting a barrage of ugly thoughts and ugly words over every little thing. This has not ever really been one of those areas that I’ve had to struggle with, but boy was I struggling with it now. If any little thing irritated me, I had a string of ugly words pop up in my head. At this point, I knew it wasn’t entirely me and that the meds had lowered my filter for my mouth. If I thought it, then I had to work extra hard to make sure it didn’t pop out. I was working so hard on just keeping the foul language from popping out that who knows how many times I was more blunt than I should have been, or responded in a more coarse manner than I ever had before.

I was getting so frustrated with myself, not to mention the yuck my boys were dealing with at home. (By the way, I found out I had been grouchy for a lot longer than just since October.) We knew to be on guard for changes in behavior. The question was “Was my ability to get out and go places worth the irritation and frustration we were dealing with?” For a while the answer was yes, then all of a sudden it was a big NO. I began to feel like I was losing my fight with the devil and that he gaining ground with each day. I thank God for special friends who put up with you during times like this and will honestly tell you when its definitely time to seek help. What a relief it was to hear it from someone else! My boys love me so much and they love having me get out and go places with them, so they were willing to deal with more…

So I called the doctor, he worked me in the next morning, and he changed my meds around. Its been almost a month and we’re seeing improvement. The ugly words aren’t always at the front and my ability to control what I say is getting better. It’s not great yet and I definitely am not back to my normal, but we’re making progress. I’m not as grouchy, the stuff that slips through the filter isn’t filled with anger but could be phrased better.

The most important lesson I’ve learned is what ever we put in just may come back out and we may have no control over when it does.
Jam 3:5-10 Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

We must be sure that if we only want good things to come out then must only put good things in. I’ve also learned to be more patient and forgiving when someone slips up and says something they didn’t intend to say. We need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t mean we excuse wrong, but it means we are loving and patient, instead of keeping a score card of how many times someone did or said something we didn’t like. Let’s get busy working on ourselves and what we can change within.

Phl 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if [there is] any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.

Father, help me to chose the books I read, the TV shows I watch, and the movies I go to see wisely; so that I do not put into my mind and heart things that do not please you. Help me to study your word daily, to take the time to notice the good, and to work on pleasing you. Help me to set the example I should before my family and friends, and help me to glorify you in all I say and do. In Jesus’ name,

Who Do I Think I AM?

Over the last several years, I’ve noticed a trend and been a part of it. The only time we share what’s happening in our lives with each other is when things are going really great or something catastrophic happens. Have you noticed (unless you’re a mama with small children who uses FB for adult conversation) that we don’t share life’s “little” things.
Really and truly isn’t that what life is? If we look at the life of Christ, he shared His life with his apostles and disciples. It was His habit to find a quiet time with God each day. Mark 1:35 Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.
Don’t you know he poured His heart out there both the good and the bad! He shared His plans with the apostles. He mourned over the hardness of the heart of Jerusalem(Matt.23:37)….In other words, He did not carry the burden alone.

Do I? If I take the chance and bear my soul is someone going to go out and talk about me, whisper behind my back….

When did it become easier to bear my soul to strangers who have never met me or who rarely see me, than to share the daily struggle of walking in the light (when it feels like Satan has his teeth sunk deep in the back of my heel)with those closest to me. Why am I unwilling to open up and lay my heart open to those who work in the “hospital”?
Really, who do I think I am?? If the son of God would ask those closest to him to watch and wait while He prayed…why don’t I ask those I sit in the pew with to watch and pray with me?
I know Jesus took Andrew, John, and Peter further into the garden that I will still have those special friends who just get to know me…Matt.26:36-38Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, "Sit here while I go and pray over there." And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me."

You know the kind of friends I’m talking about…the ones who when you call will say I’m on my way without a second thought. The ones who can tell you you’re wrong, yet you know they love you. The ones that when you see them again even after months or years, you can pick up like it was yesterday.

God does not expect me to be perfect, but he does expect me to love. In fact, I’m supposed to love so well that the world can look at me and know I’m a Christian by the love I share. 1John 2:5 But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.

Am I loving others? Do I share that love with everyone or do I share it with a select few? Do I share my heart with those it’s just comfortable for me to share it with, or do I step outside my comfort zone and shower those outside my circle of friends or the hard to love with that same care and concern?

At what point did I begin to share only the good stuff? I need to do that but if I’m fighting a particularly tough temptation I need to be able to ask for prayers. I need to be able to ask for someone to lift up my name in prayer…to pray with me and for me. I know that scripture holds promises that are too good not to go for and in the doing the burden…
Jam 5:13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms.
Jam 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
2Cr 9:12-14 For the administration of this service not only supplies the needs of the saints, but also is abounding through many thanksgivings to God, while, through the proof of this ministry, they glorify God for the obedience of your confession to the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal sharing with them and all men, and by their prayer for you, who long for you because of the exceeding grace of God in you.

The weight of temptation becomes lighter because not only am I sharing my burden with the Savior, but I’m sharing it with a sister or brother.

I need to know that I’m not the only battle weary Christian, but that together through Christ I know the war has already been won. Hbr 12:3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. If the Savior needed the comfort of friends, who do I think I am when I try to face life’s struggles as one person? Why did He give us the Church, if he only expected me to use it as the Emergency Room?

Father, help me to take that chance. Help me to open my heart. Help me to see those around me so in need of your love. Help me to ask for help from my sisters and brothers. Help me to remember that while this life is full of pain and suffering that I can have a joyfully abundant life because of that pain and the blessings that have come with it. Help me to reflect your love and to be quick to admit when I’ve failed. Help me to be quick to forgive and slow to form judgments. Help me to be the me you want me to be. Amen.